Ever feel completely irrational?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Ever feel completely irrational?
7
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:31pm

I have no idea why, but this week I've been feeling really resentful of the debt and my husband's family.

This is the one that drives me nuts. The entire time we've been together I've worked full time, plus a part time job. He's worked full time 1 year out of the 7 we've been together. Yet his parents made comments when we started living together (3 years ago)about how we moved in together for my financial benefit. (You mean, spending an extra $700 a month supporting your son is to my benefit? How about the $6 grand in tuition I've paid the last couple of years?) Oh, and buying the car (1 year ago) - we shouldn't have done that, because only I use the car, so why should DH pay for a car. (You mean, the car that I am paying for, that's in DH's name because the loan is secured against his trust fund?)

Thanks for letting me vent. His parents are genuinely nice, and are always offering help, I just wish, once in a while, that they would open their eyes and see that maybe, just maybe, I am not a helpless child/manipulative witch who is stealing their son. It makes no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:13pm
Not that it's any of his parent's business about your financial life. They will have their own opinions no matter what probably, but maybe if you brought this to their attention that you are working and picking up the slack for their son, maybe they will think twice about making those kinds of comments in the future. It wouldn't hurt for you to sit down with your husband and discuss some of these issues also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:08pm

The funny thing is, every time they make a comment like that, DH tells them off. They know I work hard, it's just that they really want their son back, so they will occasionally make odd comments.

Sigh. I think I'm just really sensitive this week. Thanks everybody, for putting up with me even when I'm not cheerful.

:)

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:05pm

"Ever fee completely irrational?"


The answer that immediately jumped into my head was "about every 28 days, give or take" :)

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 2:11am
Hi, MM. No, you are not irrational. I sometimes get the same comments from my DM. "You work twice as hard (long) as DH", or "He just sits in an office". I do try to mention that he does housework, etc., but I guess that parents grew up in another generation, and will always be partial to their own, based on their ways of dealing with things. Whiz.
Avatar for endomagazine
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 11:35pm

Hello,

I have to wonder.. how would they get their "son" back by making such comments?

Sincerely,
Lindsey Schocke

Sincerely,
Lindsey Schocke

Geeks on Tap: Mission Accomplished

Avatar for colomom99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 1:17pm

Loved the "every 28 days or so" comment. That sounds likes me. My familiy really gets to me on the financial front, too.

The thing I can't seem to get over is how my father GAVE my brother 22K a couple years ago so he could make a down payment on a house. My brother is well extrememly well educated and almost 50, but he and his wife have lived hand to mouth throughout their adulthood. Everyone makes their own choices on how to live and that's fine. But then when my dad sold some property he promised us both he would split the proceeds between us. Then, after the sale he decided to give my brother his half because he thought they should buy a house. He told me he wasn't giving us our half because "we didn't need it." He said he would "someday." I was really ticked off because money in our family has always had a way of disappearing. And sure enough a couple weeks ago I floated the idea with him that we might be adopting and wondered if I could use some of that money. When I mentioned that he had helped out my brother, my father said quickly he couldn't give us THAT much. So much for equal. My guess is the money is now gone.

Oh well, sorry for hi-jacking this thread. Just needed to vent.

Jenny

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 3:18pm

HUGS! I am so sorry you feel like that!

I feel like being irrational with our money sometimes. ha ha I don't work outside the home, so I feel like I can't complain about the financial situation, but it really irks me when DH blows a bunch of money because he feels entitled to do so. He makes more than enough money, but not when it gets thrown away like that.. And some people treat me like I am a financial burden because I don't work. People are entitled to their own opinions, though, right?

Good luck to you, girl! It WILL get better!!!
~Aravis~

 

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