Sometimes it takes a few tries to get a spouse on board with using a budget. I'm crossing my fingers that this time your hubby will decide to come on board with you. At least now,when he brings up another big purchase in the future, you can say, "Nope, we're not buying anything until your motorcycle is paid off". :-D
I used to be just like your husband until I started paying the bills myself;-) I used to think DH made "plenty" of money and I just bought whatever I wanted. Taking over the bills really made it concrete to me. I understand that maybe DH can't pay the bills because it makes more sense for you to do it but maybe if you sat down every couple of weeks went over the bills and where everything was going he would have a better picture of what was going on. For me I always heard my husband saying "we don't have it" but I figured if I bought it he would find the way to pay for it...
Now my husband says I have become a budget monster...but we have paid down 20% of our debt since I took over the bills....only 80% more to go!!
I can totally relate to your situation, we bought a $5000 go cart a few years back. We finally sold the thing in Aug 05, but only for $2250. At least he got to race it for about 2 seasons, I think. I know how you feel though, you want to be a supportive friend and not just a wife. I think he finally realizes that until we can REALLY afford toys such as these, we are not buying them. We don't have a house either, and we do love each other. It took us a while (we've been married for 7 yrs.), but I think that we are finally on the same page about finances. Still, he would love to have a motorcycle, just like your dh :)) Good luck to both of us! :)) student
I must admit - at first I thought "oh no!" but then I smiled because life is short and sometimes splurging and going for a big purchase that truly brings happiness to the one you love is worth it in the end. Plus, like others mentioned, now you can say "no more" but I have a feeling you won't need to :)
Not the same situation but I wanted a Jeep and needed my parents to co-sign a few years back. At first they said yes, I made the deal and shook hands on it with the salesman, called my parents and then they said no. I balked because I shook hands and gave my word and that meant something to me, they conceded and it did cause a HUGE fight. It was emotional and terrible and having an argument from the West (where I lived) to the East Coast (where they live) over the phone was stressful. I called the day I picked it up with the radio blaring, me driving through the mountains singing and telling them how happy I was. Now I know a material item shold not cause so much joy but it did. My Dad sent me a letter then next day and wrote "you know how to live, you've taught me lessons on how to embrace life, always remember to enjoy the Jeep and you made the right decision. I love you". That note has never left my Jeep and it never will. Although they were right, they payments are too much sometimes, I pay it each month and in 2.5 years, its MINE. It was worth it because the huge disagreement and then the reconiliation ended up bringing us to a wonderful communication and when I drove it 35 hours home a few months later, my Dad jumped in it, put it in 4 wheel drive and my 80 year old grandparnents got in it to take a lap around the yard all smiles. I will never forget it.
Sometimes it takes a few tries to get a spouse on board with using a budget. I'm crossing my fingers that this time your hubby will decide to come on board with you. At least now,when he brings up another big purchase in the future, you can say, "Nope, we're not buying anything until your motorcycle is paid off". :-D
Pat :-D
Pat, thanks for that idea!
Aravis-
I used to be just like your husband until I started paying the bills myself;-) I used to think DH made "plenty" of money and I just bought whatever I wanted. Taking over the bills really made it concrete to me. I understand that maybe DH can't pay the bills because it makes more sense for you to do it but maybe if you sat down every couple of weeks went over the bills and where everything was going he would have a better picture of what was going on. For me I always heard my husband saying "we don't have it" but I figured if I bought it he would find the way to pay for it...
Now my husband says I have become a budget monster...but we have paid down 20% of our debt since I took over the bills....only 80% more to go!!
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
I agree!
Aravis,
I can totally relate to your situation, we bought a $5000 go cart a few years back. We finally sold the thing in Aug 05, but only for $2250. At least he got to race it for about 2 seasons, I think. I know how you feel though, you want to be a supportive friend and not just a wife. I think he finally realizes that until we can REALLY afford toys such as these, we are not buying them. We don't have a house either, and we do love each other. It took us a while (we've been married for 7 yrs.), but I think that we are finally on the same page about finances. Still, he would love to have a motorcycle, just like your dh :)) Good luck to both of us! :))
student
So it IS possible to get on the same page?
Well, we actually bought the darn thing...
I must admit - at first I thought "oh no!" but then I smiled because life is short and sometimes splurging and going for a big purchase that truly brings happiness to the one you love is worth it in the end. Plus, like others mentioned, now you can say "no more" but I have a feeling you won't need to :)
Not the same situation but I wanted a Jeep and needed my parents to co-sign a few years back. At first they said yes, I made the deal and shook hands on it with the salesman, called my parents and then they said no. I balked because I shook hands and gave my word and that meant something to me, they conceded and it did cause a HUGE fight. It was emotional and terrible and having an argument from the West (where I lived) to the East Coast (where they live) over the phone was stressful. I called the day I picked it up with the radio blaring, me driving through the mountains singing and telling them how happy I was. Now I know a material item shold not cause so much joy but it did. My Dad sent me a letter then next day and wrote "you know how to live, you've taught me lessons on how to embrace life, always remember to enjoy the Jeep and you made the right decision. I love you". That note has never left my Jeep and it never will. Although they were right, they payments are too much sometimes, I pay it each month and in 2.5 years, its MINE. It was worth it because the huge disagreement and then the reconiliation ended up bringing us to a wonderful communication and when I drove it 35 hours home a few months later, my Dad jumped in it, put it in 4 wheel drive and my 80 year old grandparnents got in it to take a lap around the yard all smiles. I will never forget it.
Wonderful picture!
:)