For those of you who tithe (sort of OT)

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Registered: 03-27-2003
For those of you who tithe (sort of OT)
5
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 8:55am

I have a question for folks who tithe. Do you tithe a portion of gifts, or just of earned income?

This question is somewhat related to my thread on inheritance, in that I'm wondering how to handle it in regard to charitable giving. We believe strongly in giving a portion of our "first fruits" to charitable causes. But we generally don't think about doing it for $10 here or $20 there that we receive in gifts from family.

But of course the $5000 from Grandma is no small amount. I don't want to be stingy, and I certainly don't begrudge giving a portion of such generosity to those in need. But I'm wondering whether my grandmother would prefer that the money be used for us, since if she wanted it to go to charity, she could have done that herself. I want to honor her in our use of the money.

I guess I could just ask her, but I doubt very seriously whether she'd tell me one way or the other. She would just tell me to use the money however we thought best. In fact, I think it would stress her out to have to make that decision, and it would definitely worry her sick if I mentioned our debt (I believe if she had been born two generations later she would have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder--she is a very anxious person).

So I really want some guidance from you wise folks on this. I truly value your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks so much,

Heather

Avatar for 2locachicas
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Registered: 05-14-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 9:05am

Heather-

Well we tithe a little over our 10% so that covers the little gifts but whenever we have a windfall we always tithe on it. We may not give it directly to the church but often we decide to give it to a charity of our choice as a one time gift. We don't have a lot of extra money to bless certain causes we would like to so this is one way we can do it.

We have learned that the more we give...the more He gives back to us. But that is just our experience in the 10 years of our marriage. Think of it this way, even 4500 is a huge blessing right now.

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 9:35am

Thank you! I totally agree about it all coming back. We also find that the more we give, the more we get (though of course that's not a good reason for doing it!). In general, generosity just lubricates everything, increases the flow of blessings into our own lives as well as into those of others.

I also totally agree about $4500 being a huge blessing! I do not, by any means, begrudge the $500 to charity. In fact, I think it's really fun picking a charity and sending that check (my favorite at present is Heifer International--they are directly addressing world poverty, environmental sustainability, and peace issues all at once through their marvelous work--www.heifer.org). Of all the things we do, it is the one thing that makes me feel richest.

So my only concern is whether that is how Grandma would want the money spent. But now that I'm putting it that way, it's becoming clearer to me. Grandma, though always incredibly frugal and careful, is also generous when she feels safe. I'm sure she would love to know the money is helping others. In fact, maybe I will make the donation in her honor and send her an honor card (I'll pick a charity I think she would like).

Then of course I'll also send her a photo thank you card (I love snapfish--it's more expensive than a pack of cheap thank you cards, but it's still only $1.99 plus postage to send a thank you card with a picture of one of the children holding the gift, or some other meaningful picture) describing our plans for the remainder. Although, as I said, I won't mention our debt, even if that's what we decide to do with it, since it would stress her out. I can just say we've invested for our future or something along those lines.

So, anyway, thanks for helping me gain clarity on this issue.

In the light,

Heather

Avatar for 2locachicas
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 9:48am

Heather-

I agree that getting back more what you give is not any reason to give but we are SO SO amazed by it!! The bible says give and you will receive tenfold and we have. There were so many times early in our marriage that we couldn't pay the bills but we still tithed and in the end everything was fine. We have never been late on a bill for not having the money. I just think it is awesome....all of it. I am going to check out snapfish....those thank yous are intriguing

Good luck!

Loca

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Registered: 03-23-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 9:59am

Hi, Heather -just found this board and yours is the first discussion I've read! What a blessing this board will be. But to answer your question, I also think you should tithe it, either to your church or to another charity. The $5000 is a gift from God through your relative, and by giving 10% back, you're just saying thank you to the Giver. Just my .02!

Becky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:16am

Hi Heather,

Your grandmother's only expressed wish was for you to set aside a specific amount for college, which you have done. It sounds to me like your heart is telling you to tithe part of it; have you considered giving a token amount (such as $50 or $100) to your favorite cause in celebration of your gift? It would not be insignificant and it would honor the way *you* live your life. Now, the rest of the money--I think your grandmother would just want you to use it to improve your life in some significant way, and right now your main financial goal is getting out of debt. I think it is 100% ok to use it for that, and I don't think it is dishonoring her gift at all--if anything, you are showing that you want to FOLLOW her values, which includes not carrying debt! Maybe you could set aside $100 or so earmarked for planting a special tree (or something else that is lasting; I thought of a tree because I think I remember that you garden?) when you buy a home.

Hope this helps
BK




Edited 3/23/2006 11:20 am ET by beeking2001