Ahhhh...so frustrated w/ bf!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Ahhhh...so frustrated w/ bf!
5
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 9:55am

Thank gooddness I can vent here because even as I am typing, I am calming down. My bf and I usually split everything when we go out as in some nights he pays, other times I do. I make about $10,000 more than he does but he is living at home to save for a house (he lost his job two years ago, moved back with parents due to money and got a job about a year ago)

Anywamy, last night we went out, I told him I would buy the drinks and we should eat at home to save money. We stopped at a new bar, it is beautiful and we were both happy for a new atmosphere. He ended up ordering a johnny walker blue scotch - $35 a glass!! After he drank it, the bartender said "seems funny - she gives me a credit card and you are the one ordering a $35 drink". Bf said he would help me pay the tab because that wasn't fair - neither of us knew the cost. Turns out, we get in an arguement which is not the norm, we leave unhappy and he tells me I ruined the night (the $70 night for 4 drinks by the way on my debit card). This morning I told him I was stressed because I really didn't plan for a $70 night, thats why I suggested we eat at home. He just left for a 7 day trip without leaving a dime. I think I feel mad at myself for being petty - when I went to Ireland, he paid $150 to cash in all his points for two nights at a four star Hilton and wouldn't take a dime from me. When my mom and brother came to visit, he surprised us at dinner and picked up the $100 tab. Sometimes I admit I think he should pitch in more - afterall, I am paying rent, food and utilities at a place while he is not since he is back home.

So I am frustrated because my tight budget makes $70 seem like ALOT for two people and four drinks. (its a lot anyway) and I feel petty because he is so giving in other ways. But I feel slightly justified because he is living for free and I struggle. Most of all I wish I didn't even notice this things or take "tallies" in my head - I on;y do because sometimes I really still struggle.

Thanks for listening. He's a good man and treats me like gold so I wanted to get this out somewhere and not take it out on him because next week will come and he'll end up taking all my friends out for drinks or me out to a restuarant or something. I think I am also frustrated that the night ended poorly. If it hadn't, it would be a great memory of a too expensive place!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 10:05am
HUGS!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 10:14am
Thank you. I was about to edit my post because I feel so petty compared to what other people go through. But I already feel so much healthier getting it out no matter how petty. :) So thank you for listening/reading.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 11:36am
At first when I read the post I took bf to mean breastfeeding!!

Lara

 

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 12:18pm

(((hugs))) Feel free to vent away - it really does help to calm down I think!


All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 2:29pm

Thank you all. I feel much better and I appreciate the fact that I DO have $70 in my account even if i was planning to use it for bills. Its ok, a learning experience, hopefully we grow with communication because of it.

BF - breastfeeding LOL. Love it.