I get to discover these things at work..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
I get to discover these things at work..
5
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 9:51am

Well, I just went outside to have an anxiety attack at work. I didn't work out payments very well. I should have just held on to the cheque - but I didn't. They cleared before my pay. I got a $20 NSF on a $1.50 parking cheque I wrote for work. I didn't have any cash, or I think I was $0.20 short - oh well. So the CU tells me the Feds were the first to try and clear my $225 check over my $1.50 cheque. I am sitting with $4.20 in the bank, my mortgage luckily had cleared. I am making no sense and this has to have been about the worse month ever. I can't believe I make the money I do - not tons - but considered a good salary and this happens.

So I have $40 in charges. I just noticed that my CC is over the limit, thanks to merchants holding the amounts they have already cleared - so I sent money to my CC. The girls in my office are talking about all the c**p they bought in the mall yesterday. I have to now chase these payments up. Pay the charges to them for the bounced cheques. It's my own stupid fault I guess. I can't write anymore because I don't want to be upset in this tiny office where everyone asks me what is up.

I'm not looking for a ton of sympathy, as I have only myself to blame, but not fun to discover this at work. But I had a bunch of stuff to pay out of pocket for work. One of the girls who bought crap yesterday owes me over $200. I have the cheques in my drawer, but I have her on a payment plan. So she goes shopping, and I get NSF. That's my karma for helping someone out last summer when I could a little. My BF couldn't even help me. Said he only had $100 himself. We don't live together - so I handle my $2000+ monthly bills before I have even eaten or put gas in my car every month on my own. I should have just paid the $10 penalty to the condo association - what was I thinking? I guess I wanted to pay on time.

I have a professional job, but the mortgage and all the incidental expenses just kill me. I have car insurance due next month, how am I going to pay for that? Especially since I lost the case against the kid who hit me - now I can look forward to an insurance increase. I am the only person who can be hit from behind and found guilty. I have dog's vet bills - $200 how am I going to pay for that? I need to get a girlfriend a wedding gift - how do I pay for that? I can't get a 2nd job on top of the long hours I already put in - I would have no time to actually manage my life - and you have to have time for that. Do things like get a new tire every 3 months - all that stuff that happens. Like not having any shorts because you have gained a little weight you probably won't lose - you can't lose bone! The summers here are 100 degrees plus - so anyway - just another cost.

I got a flat tire the other day, thanks to a construction piece/tool bit/screw stuck in my tire. That's the 2nd one flat in less than 6 months for the exact same reason. My tires cost over $120 a piece, thanks new construction - of which I don't get to live in or enjoy.

On top of knowing that my fridge is about to die, my oven already died. It just doesn't seem fair that some people seem to have it all - and you just have stress and anxiety and nothing to look forward to. I really am over it today. Over it.

What a great start to my weekend. I really am exasperated.

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 9:56am
I just wanted to give you a hug!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 10:00am

Thank you so much Becky for being here with your kind words. I have my mum 3000 some miles from me in another country - but my BF has been great. Thank you so much - I just feel so anxiety ridden - I can't believe I am going through this at my desk - next to where everyone gets coffee.

Thank you. Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 10:37am

awww. at the beach.. I feel so bad! Bad because I know exactly how it is. It's happened to me! I have often found out at work how much "in the red" I am because of NSF. You are NOT alone. It happens to others too! I make decent money and I don't know where it goes either!

Just hang in there. It WILL get better!

: )
Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 11:29am

Thanks Shannon for your kind words. My BF and I are discussing his coming to live with me, to help us both out. I wish I could have done it on my own. I feel like a failure.

I spoke with my condo association and they will put the check back through and not charge me any late fees. In fact, I just talked to them and they told me they had rather I let them know about waiting for my pay check to clear, they would have helped me out and waited for their payment. So I could have prevented this - that's the biggest stinker and now I am $40 in the hole so far. $40 I can't afford to lose. My luck has been atrocious lately.

It really is hard at work when you can't do anything about it. I do hope things will get better. I am so jealous of those who don't seem to go through this. Yesterday, I went to Victoria Secrets to claim my free underwear to cheer up. I really need a new bra - but even had I wanted to be bad and buy one I literally couldn't have. Not a penny on the CC, or in the checking account. $58 in savings. I can't see it better for awhile - I just hope it does - but with gas at nearly $3 a gallon, electricity will definitely go up. I am not looking forward to the expensive summer.

Avatar for timbenita
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 12:49pm
I just wanted to pipe in and say that you are not a failure. Just look at what you have accomplished and remember that it will get better.