Good for you, Kristin! You should hold your head up and be proud of being honest with boyfriend. He sure sounds like a very understanding, special guy! :-D
When I came out about my debt to my husband, I think I felt the same as you. I was terrified to tell anyone, much less him. I was afraid of being looked at as a failure. I was afraid of letting anyone down. When he found out, I burst into tears, feeling sure I would be hearing the words, "It's over!!" from him. To my surprise, I heard him chuckle as I sat there sobbing into my hands, followed by a very understanding and compassionate, "Oh Honey....come on now....it's not so bad...why are you crying?? I thought it was going to be much worse than this....we can tackle this together, it's no problem, ok? Please stop crying...". Even after hearing that, I still felt horrible. The guilt was just terrible, although I did feel tremendous relief to have it all out in the open. I remember sitting there saying, "I'm a terrible person....I shouldn't be allowed to touch any money at all....I'm just terrible....", and yet he was still comforting and accepting.
You're right about it being a humbling experience. It also just feels good to have everything in the open.
Kristin -- great now the decks are cleared and you don't have to worry about the relationship dissolving because of debt!! So what's the deal on the house?? Have you talked to a realtor about what really HAS to be done before you put it up for sale -- to see if your expense now will have a much bigger payoff when you sell? Cause you could sell it "as is" I guess as long as you disclosed any really bad problems i.e. furnace not working, leak in the roof, or something like that. Otherwise, you might just want to sell it quickly -- spring is the time for selling I think. Maybe some realtor type ladies could give you some advice. If the house was not wearing you down, you would only have the debt to worry about. Just an idea. Megan
All my best,
Danni
Kristin, girl that is great!
Good for you, Kristin! You should hold your head up and be proud of being honest with boyfriend. He sure sounds like a very understanding, special guy! :-D
When I came out about my debt to my husband, I think I felt the same as you. I was terrified to tell anyone, much less him. I was afraid of being looked at as a failure. I was afraid of letting anyone down. When he found out, I burst into tears, feeling sure I would be hearing the words, "It's over!!" from him. To my surprise, I heard him chuckle as I sat there sobbing into my hands, followed by a very understanding and compassionate, "Oh Honey....come on now....it's not so bad...why are you crying?? I thought it was going to be much worse than this....we can tackle this together, it's no problem, ok? Please stop crying...". Even after hearing that, I still felt horrible. The guilt was just terrible, although I did feel tremendous relief to have it all out in the open. I remember sitting there saying, "I'm a terrible person....I shouldn't be allowed to touch any money at all....I'm just terrible....", and yet he was still comforting and accepting.
You're right about it being a humbling experience. It also just feels good to have everything in the open.
Pat :-D
Megan