A happier Saturday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
A happier Saturday.
5
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 8:48pm

I actually got sleep today, so that was the first thing to make my day happy. (I still have a hard time sleeping during the daytime sometimes) And then in the mail, my dh's $100 gift cards from Mens Wearhouse came, AND the return of our sec deposit..all of it since it was such a hassle to live there and they can't legally rent the place out anymore....a $675 snowflake which will bring my Chase balance down to $525ish. My dh and I took the kids to the lake, we just skipped rocks and let them have the run of the playground for awhile. And then we went to the grocery store and spent $30 on fruit, salad fixings (I want to pack salads for lunch for awhile..I have been eating nothing but junk since we moved), cereal, and ice cream. It was probably not the best deal in the world for what we bought, but if it means we stay here and eat instead of going out to McDs even one time, it will have paid for itself anyhow. Plus it was mainly HEALTHY stuff.

On other fronts, my brother and I are basically just avoiding each other now, and I am starting to look around at my options for other places to live, if that is what ends up happening. I think I ticked my siblings off though, because originally, i was going to pay the property taxes when they come due in August (my dad is already on a payment plan for back property taxes)..anyhow, if it comes down to moving, then I am not going to pay them and the house will be lost. I moved here for my Dad..if I can't have him home, i am not going to further disrupt my family finances by trying to stay aboard a sinking ship. There is a lot of work to be done.

But i am calmer, and looking into my options and trying to be rational about all of this stuff. And I am starting to get my emotions back in balance so I can be in a better postion to handle all of this, which is very hard. Things are going to get better. What a difference sleep makes! Heather

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 8:57pm

Glad to hear that you had a happy day.

MYM

Avatar for skthurber
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 9:53pm

Hey Heather, glad you were able to get some sleep and some perspective. You're right, you have to put your family (you, DH, and the girls) first. I know you'll get this sorted out somehow. Enjoy your salads :)

-Sarah

Sarah


Mom to Gina & Tony


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 10:30pm

Sleep and salad.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 1:27am
Hi, Heather. Am sooo happy you were able to eat and get some sleep. I guess that's why folks say to "sleep on it" when there is a problem. Basically, you've worked hard and given everything you can to be there for your dad---be proud of yourself for that. And as for your brother--sorry to hear about you guys not being on good terms. You cant change the behavior, only your reaction to it is what's important. Usually, it is the women of the family who end up doing a lot of the caregiving roles, etc. BTW---try the chicken salad recipe I sent Aravis---made it for DH this week (he's been sick all week) and it kept him eating and snacking on grapes, apples, etc.:) Ahh-to just go out in the sunshine and get away for awhile with your family and recharge your batteries. Hugs to you, Whiz.
Avatar for 2locachicas
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:37am

Heather-

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. You moved for all the right reasons. When my mom died in October none of my siblings(there are 6 of us) did anything to help me do anything. We made(& paid) for all the arrangements,they did help clean out the house(all the while grousing because it was too soon), I forwarded mail, contacted her work, sold her place(and I live 2.5 hours away), negotiated medical bills and so many other things....

My advice is do what is best for you & your family. That is what will keep you sane. DH is who keeps you grounded. I ended up selling my mom's place for ALOT less than it was worth just to get it off my back. I was sick of driving in to show it and paying monthly bills on it and I really just needed it gone. When the sibs get mad about it I will tell them if they didn't like it they could have done something else themselves, but they didn't.

Just remember, you are there for you dad, but not at the expense of your family...

Good luck!!

loca