A little bit of juicy gossip!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
A little bit of juicy gossip!
9
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 12:04pm
Just a little bit of gossip from my boss that makes me feel a little better about the debt situation that I am in. I guess almost a year ago when one of our employees moved here to our facility he had some money troubles. He was commuting about 1-2 hours each way everyday to work and back. Well the lease on his apartment was almost up. He decided to try to find a place to live that was closer to work. So for about a week he was living in a hotel and his stuff was in storage, because he hadn't found a place to live in yet. Well my boss felt sorry for him because he complained about money troubles and she lent him $1,000. Well since this loan the employee got promoted and is definately making a lot more than my boss. He still has not paid her back her money. It has almost been a year. Right now this person is running our plant. Kinda scarey! My boss has repeatedly asked for her money back and not even a good faith payment has been made. She just has given up. I feel sorry for her. She said she thought he was a stand up guy. Also here lately I have been fielding some collection calls for him also. He is 32 years old, single, no kids, no car payment, and still rents! There has got to be some issues there. I am thinking maybe a drinking or gambling problem.
I know that it is not right to feel better because of someone else's problems. But it makes me think that. "Hey, I really dont have it that bad." At least I do not owe a co-worker any money and can't or won't pay it back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:56pm
That is a terrible situation for the both of them to be in, but I know what you mean about other peoples problems making yours not seem so bad. A few years ago I was nearly losing my home and had my bank account call in by my bank, both of which made for a terrifying time as everything else was going so wrong as well at that time. What helped me keep it all in perspective and be able to cope was a friend of mine was actually losing her home because her landlord needed back the property and she was fighting to get a council house for her family. when things are dire it really does help to know there are others in the same or worse position to you.
Love
Anne :O)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:51pm
Your message promted me to ask my co-worker to start making payments on a loan I had made to him last year. I wonder if your co-worker has ever considered small claims court. Even if she doesn't have enough documentation to prove that she lent him the money and expected him to pay for it -- at least he would know she is serious about getting paid. UNLESS he has some control over her job -- then of course, she is stuck. We all learn, unfortunately.
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:06am

I read this post yesterday and at first I was floored by it and I've mulled it over the past day and I found it really upsetting. I'm single, 32, no kids, great job and granted I'm not renting I'm no better off money wise right now than I was then.

It occured to me that all the times people asked me what I do with all my money (which they must think I have oodles of being single with no kids) and I respond "pay bills" and they go "umm hmm" they must be thinking I have some other issues such as gambling or drugs which I most certainly do not.

They don't know my entire list of debts which include student loans and credit cards; at 32 I am of a generation who went hog wild with credit cards when I got them. All the debt I dug myself into in previous years I'm struggling to get out of now. It hurts me to realize that people could pass judgement so quickly not knowing the entire circumstances and assuming something as awful as a drug addiction.

If people need to make themselves feel better by assuming things about me I guess that's their issue yet it un-nerves me they could assume the worst about me just so they feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:34am
I have people say to me 'You must be rolling in it!' as I have to do a fair amount of overtime to make up for having a part-time job. This is said by people with full time jobs who do more overtime than me and have a wife with a second income, I'm a single parent and the only money we have is what I can earn on my own. I always say back, 'not as much as you!' and that shuts them up. Just because you are single, it doesn't mean your living expenses are much less than theirs as you have to pay it all on your own. Try not to take anyones comments to heart as they will think what they will. You know where you are financially and it is no one elses business.
Have a lovely day
Love
Anne :O)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:52am

I am single, 30, and I rent. I cound't buy a home right now if I wanted to, but its not because I am a druggie or I have a gambling problem either. Its because being single means you pay for everything 100% with no backup!

I don't want to be married or have kids but I have done what I wanted with my life which is travel! I have lived in the North, West, East and the South so I have experienced alot here in the states. I've been to Europe numerous times and Puerto Rico and I am planning a guided tour to Russia next spring. I don't have alot of money because I spend to travel, but its fulfilling my dream. I still am in debt and will probably never be rich, but I feel as though I live richly. I wanted to move to Colorado and at 23 did it with a job but no other plan and I stayed for 3 years! I wanted to be a flight attendant and I was and I made $20,000 a year and was flat broke at 27, but LOVED IT! I went to Paris first class for FREE! It was an adventure! Sure, I still owe companies money, but I have also loanded $4000 to someone and never got it back. It may not be one big problem as the reason why someone is in debt. It might be that they were helping others and not paid back, or many other things combined. For me, its that I have chosen to live my life to the fullest and had a hell of a good time from 20-30 and I plan to have many more great decades ahead of me. And I plan to still RENT because it gives me FREEDOM!! I just ask that you keep in mind that not everyone dreams of being married with kids, a home and a white picket fence. I don't care that people look at me at 30 with a good job but still getting too many bills as crazy. I have absolute freedom in life already and once I am debt free, I can't even imagine! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:28am
You are where I am heading and nobody except my son can understand it. I am 37 and a single mum with a son who is about to branch out into his own life. As this happens for him I will be doing the same. People can't understand why I don't want to buy my home (I couldn't as I don't earn enough or want to be saddled with a morgage so huge I will be struggling to pay it until I retire when it may be sold off to pay for any care I might need by the state.) or settle down into a nice relationship. I want freedom, to roam and be and live. I have spent 17 years trapped at home by my single parent responsibilities, which I didn't mind and don't regret, but now it is time to move on and time for me. Well done you for living the life you wanted to and you are right, we all have bills and difficulties for many different reasons.
Have a great day
Love
Anne :O)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:06pm

Anne,
I am so happy for you and your son branching out! Good for you! Its funny - through the years many of my married friends and some with children have told me they wouldn't make it known out loud, but they are envious of the carefree life I have been fortunate enough to lead. They would crowd around to hear flight attendant stories lol. I told them I am just doing it the opposite of most - maybe someday I will get married and maybe have a baby, but by then they will be empty nesters on their journey. For me, I just did earlier and might have children later so its all the same. But I wanted to make sure I did the traveling and adventures while I was young because my mom had open heart surgery in her 40s and could never do the things I have done so I wanted to do them while my body was still able.

Good luck out there finding the new path. I admire that very much. In my flight attendant class, we had ages 20-60. It was great. Take care. I wish the best for you and your son.

Lauren

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 1:09pm

I did not mean to offend you at all. The reason I stated he must have some sort of problem is because I have talked to him and have a pretty good idea (at least of what he tells, dont know if it is true or not) of his current financial situation. The only reason I mentioned that is also he says all the time that he went and got drunk here or there with so and so.

I do not know anything about you or your financial situation. The only reason I have come to this conclusion about this person is because of his actions and what he has told me personally. Honestly I posted this because I was so floored that he borrowed $1,000 and in a year hasn't even made on good faith payment to my boss.

The only person you need to worry about is yourself. Please do not take offense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 1:56pm

Hi,
No worries - I was not offended - only trying to give another perspective because of the sentence "He is 32 years old, single, no kids, no car payment, and still rents! There has got to be some issues there. I am thinking maybe a drinking or gambling problem" indicated that a sum of all those factor leads people to believe there is a problem and for some of us, that is a dream come true! I didn't realize you knew him personally since he was referred to as "the employee". Regardless, he should definately make payments to your boss for sure.

Heck, if someone wants to look at my life to make their situation feel better for them, I will gladly be their benchmark because I don't want their life and I imagine they don't want mine. I know the only person I need to worry about is myself - whether its good or bad, its exactly how I want it and I am very good at it...probably too good at it...the bf feels like I can be too much of a free spirit and worries I will fly away lol...

Lauren