Inheritance?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 3:08pm |
A couple of years ago my dear grandmother passed away and left me an inheritance of $20k. Her reasoning was a woman should always have another option. I think she did this because she felt my mother was trapped where she was in her marriage, with no money of her "own". That is, of course, another story. Naturally, at the time, I was bowled over (between the shock and grief) and put it in a money market. When my bank was bought by another bank, it was changed to a passbook savings with minimal interest. About a year ago, we paid off a cc with $5k from it.
In our debt journey I have not given this inheritance another thought, beyond what my grandmother's wishes were. I was talking to DH, and we were talking about our money situation, and how that much money could help us. DH has just said, when I asked him what he thought about using the rest of it, "I can't make that decision it is your money." Although, he did say if he were in the same boat, the money would be ours...
My question is, what would you do? Please be honest, you all have given me wonderful advice and support before. I am just torn I think between honoring my grandmother and doing right by my family. Thank you in advance.
Edited 5/13/2006 3:16 pm ET by candytester

Pages
You know, I'm not really sure what I would do since the way your Grandma said it for "having money of your own" would make it difficult to use.
However, since all my money is co-mingled with DH - I don't really view most money as "mine" vs. "yours" - it's basically all ours.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
Just from my own experience DON'T do it. In a year or two you will have absolutely nothing to show for it -- the inheritance money will be gone and the credit cards will be charged back up.
Just my two cents.
Megan
p.s. Did you repay the 5,000.00 to yourself that you already put on the debt??
To both Scorned33 and Becky, I agree with what both of you are saying. Since posting, I have thought about it and actually was thinking of doing 5k as Becky mentioned and keeping the rest separate. That way it will pay off the last of our cc debt, and then we can start focusing everything on our home equity. And too it will keep some for what my grandmother intended. Like you touched on, Scorned33. I love(d) my grandmother so much and I love my family so much, I just want to try to make things ok.
My parents and grandparents always have had this "mine", "yours" thing about money. That is something my husband does not subscribe to, and something I have a hard time taking into account. Thank you both for your opinions. I really appreciate.
Megan
Hi,
I haven't had a chance to read all the responses to your post, but I would vote for NOT using that money. I too have my "own" money I got from my mother as a gift to me. She gave me the money in smaller amounts for my bdays etc and I saved it up. I'm married for 15 years now and I have to tell you that a few years back we almost got divorced and it was great to know that I had that back up money. Noone's marriage is divorce proof. JMHO
Good luck with whatever you decide to do:o)
I would probably consider that part of my emergency fund-money that could bail your family out in the event of job loss or something similar but not for paying off debt or just using for family stuff.
I would find this a difficult quandary. DH and I have a "ours" money strategy, however, we have always had some limits on what what reasonable.
I recieved a small inheritance when my grandfather passed away 6 years ago (5K) that we used to buy a tiny cottage. My kids love going there, and it is a great get away for our family. There is no way we would of had the cash to buy it otherwise. For me this was the best balance, It benifitted my family, but in a real and tangible way. For my Grandpa family was very important, and I can sense his approval as he sees the joy on my kids faces when we spend time there.
This is the same rule we used when we recieve cash or gift cards. We use that money to buy a "treat" something out of the ordinary, instead of spending it on bills or everyday expenses, i.e. groceries, stuff for kids.
Hope this helps
Pages