So confused....
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| Fri, 05-26-2006 - 4:10pm |
Well, I still don't know what I want to do about our future living arrangements....here are our choices:
1. Move into an apartment the next town over that has pretty good schools. Pluses: Its right down the street from a park and the lake. The program is supposed to have one of the better autism programs around here. Minuses: it is expensive to rent. Lots of neighbors to annoy if our daughter is in one of her moods and starts screaming. Nothing is a sure thing..you don't really know how things are until you actually live there.
2. Start looking for a starter house and see what happens. Plus: It would be our own and probably cost less than renting in the area we want to live. Minuses: it isn't going to be in a very reputable school district. If we turn out not to like it, it won't be easy to up and move again. It would pretty much wipe us out financially.
3. Hightail it back from where we came from as soon as we can line up jobs. Pluses: We know the school would be awesome for our daughter, we love the school there. She would eventually get approved for the autism waiver again, which would mean we would be able to get therapy for her again (though scaled back) I would not have the whole business of administering my dad's estate dumped on me...my siblings aren't really helpful and assume that I will take care of everything, even though doing so would create an undue hardship on my own family unit, which irks me because of how things went down with my dad in the first place and the fact that I've only been in the area for two months. Long story. Minuses: we aren't fond of the weather there. We would be back in the same place we started, which wasn't the nicest townhouse, but was definitely big enough for us and doable....eveything else in that area is at least $400 month more. Moving that far is expensive..
4. See if we can stay where we are once the estate is settled by buying out my siblings share...actually, they said they would give up their shares if I wanted to stay Pluses: This house has the potential to be a very nice house again, and my dad built it. It has 1.58 acres of land. If i don't, then the house gets sold, because my brother and sister do not want to live here. Minuses: I don't really want to stay here. i have been fighting with the schools from the first day. It doesn't feel like it could ever be my house...always my parents house...emotional baggage. My siblings would feel like they could crash here whenever they want, and I really would prefer to have as little as possible to do with them right now.
I know that emotional times aren't the best decision making times. i am very stressed out. But we are considering our options because whatever move we make, we want to make in the summer, before school starts up again. I know this is a very personal decision, but do you guys see any options I haven't thought of?
By the way, i am doing ok. I really am. I am a bit annoyed by the mess i am in, but I know that it can be fixed if we work at it. I talked to my husband a few days ago, because i was feeling very down and alone and depressed. It helped...a lot. So now it is about picking up the pieces and moving on.
heather

Heather,
You have sure been through a lot -- and I'm so sorry the unsettled stuff continues.
Reading your note tho, it sounds deep down that you know what you want to do -- sell the house -- move back where you came from. Maybe your share of the $$ from the house would be enough to get you started in some kind of house back where you moved from (?).
It sounds like your siblings are overwhelmed and can't make decisions easily. But it really sounds like the house should be sold. They sound like good people since they want to "give' you their share if you wanted to live there. But I sure understand not wanting to.
So, my suggestion is -- take the summer to get things settled as far as your Dad's things go -- sell the house, and move back to your real home.
Megan
Just wanted to offer some words of encouragement. I agree with the previous poster that moving back sounds like a better option, since you already know the schools there and being back in the familiar environment would be good for your family. Of course, you know better. I really hope things will work out soon for you, guys.
Heather,
I have to say that my gut reaction is to stay since moving creates its own financial headaches and you are/have recently recovered from your last one. And how long before you get the waiver for your daughters therapy? Would that have to come from your pocket until then? From a total money point, it seems better to stay where you are.
Having said that, I do agree with other poster in that you know the system there and it is a huge benefit. And after headaches with your new system, that may be a welcome relief.
There are definately two good sides to the coin here. It is a difficult choice, but having read your post from the past (delurking has some advantages) you examine the choices well and go into it knowing what the positives and negatives are. So take a deep breath, drink a refreshing drink, and then make a decision with your DH.
Michelle