Think I have to get a job

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Think I have to get a job
17
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 12:19am

Well, after having DH's child support go up $25/week, this week we started having the extra health insurance and dental insurance taken out of his checks (after adding his children to our plans).

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 1:26am
Callmearavis,
I'm really sorry to hear about your plans not working out. I know how that feels when you have better and more exciting plans in mind that what is actually happening in reality. I think it's really strong of you to hang in there and even think about getting a job on top of all of your current responsibilities. That really says a lot for your determination to make your future and your family's future better. I know that it seems like a long road sometimes, especially when you're emotionally ready for something now. It will work itself out though. You seem determined and dedicated enough to help yourself and your family pull through this.
I just wanted to write to say that you are doing a great job of hanging in there and looking for ways to make things better. That's a great way to live!
All the best,
sweetiepea
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-1999
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 2:59am

Dear Aravis,

HUGS!!!!!

You are in my thoughts. I am so sad to see you so disappointed. I hope you find an answer that will make you feel better soon!

Littlesbigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 12:04pm

I'm so sorry things are not working out. Life seems like that so often. We have plans and things just don't seem to go the way we want them to. Keep in mind though that they could be a lot worse. You and DH didn't end up with nearly the financial mess you thought you would when you first learned about having the child support renegotiated. Is there any way you could get a job in the evenings for a while? Maybe waitressing or bartending in the evenings or on weekends? That way you wouldn't have to put your son in daycare. And kick up that toy business girl! You can do this!

You seem a resentful about the situation at the moment, and believe me, that is not criticism, just and observation. I would be *very* resentful in your shoes. Try to keep that it check. You don't want to let it end up destroying you.

Hang in there. You guys will get through this.

Heather

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 12:31pm

Girl,
I feel your frustration.

Hang in there.

MYM




Edited 6/3/2006 12:42 pm ET by mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 12:45pm

My heart aches for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 1:14pm

Thanks ladies.


Yes, I am resentful.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 6:43pm

Oh, Aravis, my heart is just breaking for you. I'm so sorry things are not going the way you'd hoped ... I'd be resentful, too. I wish I had a solution for you, but all I can offer is (((hugs))) and a hope that you'll always feel free to come here and talk, cry, vent, whatever!

Amy

Avatar for 2locachicas
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 6:49pm

aravis-

before I went and got a job I would take a hard look at hubby's new motorcycle. A real hard look. They are HIS children and it is HIS motorcycle. Probably if you got rid of the payment you could continue to eek by on his salary. Maybe you can negotiate a better one when you get out of college? If you guys can figure out how to live on his income while you are in school think of how much "extra" your income will be when you have it.

He needs to stop acting like he is missing out on so much and step up to the plate!! If this happened at our house you better believe DH would be selling his undies if he needed to.

Stay strong and I know in the end you wil do what you gotta do to get by...that's a mom's job;-)

Loca

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 7:53pm

Hi Aravis...

Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with an earlier poster that maybe you could find a job during the hours when your DH is home so that you don't have to find daycare.

Hugs! Hang in there!

:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 8:57pm

I totally agree with Loca. When I read that about his new motorcycle I literally said out loud "His WHAT???". I would be having a talk with him too. Something along the lines of "You know, with all these recent changes in our lives, we can not afford a motorcycle". Unless HE wants to start delivering pizzas a few nights a week.

I feel for you. Sometimes I feel like it is so hard being a single mom, and then stuff likes this makes we wonder how people cope with being married. My mess I'm in is totally my fault, I know that, but at least I don't need to negotiate with someone else on how to clean it up.

Heather

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