going to scream!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2005
going to scream!
5
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 5:02pm

The wedding is in two weeks, I'm 13 weeks pregnant, financial instability and no health insurance. I am going to lose it! I've been throwing up and crying since last night over all this. I got afraid I was going to end up miscarrying from all this stress. After all the female problems I've been through, this is a miracle baby:)

We've been together 7 years and have wanted to marry for some time. But lack of money stood in the way to have a wedding. I didn't feel comfortable going to a justice of peace to tie the knot. We are having a small intimate ceremony at my brother's ranch but am afraid it will be cheesy. After all, this is my first marriage. Everybody has offered to do something to help out which is nice. I don't even have a dress and no rings yet! Will be next week at least when we can go shopping. I'm afraid this wedding appears to some as a "shotgun wedding" even though everybody is very happy for us and said it's about time we marry.

I graduated from college with my degree last December. Since last summer, I've been trying to transition changing careers, but it has been one thing after another with firms and or no experience, sorry! So I've basically been unemployed the last year! My back has been against the wall but I keep standing strong and searching. Now, I'm applying for any job (in my new field and what I used to do) where I can make a decent living and get benefits soon after before I start showing. I'm sure once my pregnancy is obvious, nobody is going to hire me. I need to at least make what I have over the years, to sustain.

My soon to be husband's company(he's a contractor) he has been with the last 4 months, the work has started to slow down. Not sure if it is due to summer upon us. We are barely getting by on his income alone, if you call this a job better better than nothing. In the meantime, I'm considering applying for state aid to see if I can get assistance now that I am expecting and not working before we marry. I'm in need of maternity clothes now as my wardrobe has now outgrown me but have very little money.

If we cant get health insurance before the baby is born, we will have to come up with thousands of dollars before the delivery to pay the hospital and dr fees. Mind you, these fees are only if a normal pregnancy and no problems. How am I going to do that?

Bottom line, I feel like I'm losing my mind! I've even thought of postponing the wedding from all this,I'm sure people would be extremely upset, I feel like it's bad timing I got pregnant because of our situation. Everybody keeps telling me, this baby is a good thing. Okay! How are we going to get through this? If they were in my shoes, they may feel differently! Ugh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 5:42pm

Yikes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 8:38pm
Hi,
Congratulations on the baby!! My suggestion: apply NOW for state aid -- whatever it is called in your state (medicaid?). You would be eligible on your own -- you have no income, and you are pregnant. You should be covered for prenatal and delivery and the baby should be covered too. Also see if you can find a WIC office -- it stands for Women, Infants, Children, and they supply free supplemental food for the pregant mother and for the baby -- usually up to the age of 6 or so. Go apply NOW tho for the state aid -- you will need prenatal care, vitamins and who knows what else.
Good luck with all of this.
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 9:21pm
Yes, I second the PP who suggested applying for aid. I'd do that first thing Monday morning. Also some really good Dr's work in clinics who specialize in low income/medicaid care. My Dr's were/are top notch OB's in this area and worked in a free clinic during the week so don't assume that you'll receive inferior care if you don't spend out of pocket (thousands) $$. Besides, I'd think most Dr's these days do take Medicaid/Medicare especially if they are hospital affiliated. But you should qualify for WIC too which would help out w/ groceries both now and later. As for the wedding--I think your plan sounds very sweet and affordable. There's nothing wrong with that. Just remember what the day is all about--starting off a marriage--not fancy cakes, pricey dresses, or bridesmaids. It'll be great......take care of yourself and the baby. Miracle babies are such a gift no matter how much money you have in the bank. It'll all work out.
Avatar for 2locachicas
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 9:31pm

I can't say anything about the pregnancy since I have never had a baby....BUT when DH and I got married we had a very low key marriage that focused on us and us becoming a family and we got SO many compliments on it. It was very simple and casual and everyone who came loved it. A wedding should express who you and DH are, not what you can give for the day. If it feels right to you....it's right!!

Congratulations on the baby & the wedding....

People will tell you, there is never a "perfect" time to have a baby..but it is always right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 11:40pm
Hi, NH---I agree with PP--Taylena said it best--it's the hormones, etc. I also concur that getting that application done pronto would give you breathing room. BTW---no one is judging you, girlfriend, in this day and age. Just attended a baby shower at work for a single girl (no ring, boyfriend, relationship, etc.) and NO ONE passed judgment or said anything disparaging. Am thrilled for you that you can finally have this baby! l) Can you enlist brother/bridesmaid/GF's to help coordinate things? Let them know what you need or if you want to set up a registry, etc. 2) Dress---Target? local seamstress? Friend who can sew? My GF made my dress in off-white satin, sewed pearls, and attached flowers to the veil. Got my shoes at Payless. 3)Rings? ice.com; DH's friend made our rings--less expensive. When DH & I got married, we had NO money, family had to travel, my DF was battling terminal illness, etc. So, we either had things "donated" as a gift to us, made for us (cake, dress, etc.), or got stuff at reduced fees. My one friend was a Mary Kay person who did a free makeover for me, styled my hair, etc. 4)Maternity clothes? Thrift stores, consignment shops, etc. People will usually give you $$$ for the wedding, so that can help defray expenses. 5)Brother's ranch? Fun! Outdoor weddings are great. Attended a graduation this week. Very simple. They had lemonade and coffee/tea, fresh fruit you could dip in chocolate, and sandwiches and mints, some pasta salad. Hugs, Whiz.