New, confused and I feel alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2005
New, confused and I feel alone
5
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:44pm

Hi my name is Jen and am a sole income earner for my family of 5. I have in the last 6 months become over extended and am having financial trouble. I discussed this with my ex mother in law and she was offended and upset I might be considering bankruptcy. She played the "these are obligations you made how can you walk away from that" card and I don't blame her but I think it's the best thing for my family right now.

Here's the situation and tell me what ya'll think:
1) I have about 9500 in credit card debt
2) I have a 7,000 personal loan
3) I have a mortgage and I'm in pre forclosure with 3 payments due
4) I have a lot of medical bills about 3,000
5) My total income minus my expenses creates a deficit of $300 per month without including bonuses (which aren't guaranteed)

How did your families react if you foreclosed or filed chapter 7. I have young kids and I'm concerned I'm not making the right decision because I don't have my families support and that is important to me.

My ex mother in law is also questioning my employment because I work in the financial industry. Does anyone know if a Chapter 7 and foreclosure can affect your employment if you work in finance or banking?

Sorry my post is so long and I appreciate any help or support

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 11:24pm
Welcome jen__2.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 1:04am

I don't know as much about this as Carolyn, and I'd definitely listen to her. Of course, you should speak to a lawyer who can discuss your personal situation.

In the long run, you need to do what is best for you and your kids. What your ex-motherinlaw thinks you should do is not necessarily what is best for you - running a deficit of $300 per month must be stressful, and it does seem that bankruptcy would be a good option for you.

My family would be upset if I declared bankruptcy, as would my inlaws. But our finances aren't really their business. They don't even know the extent of our current debt.

mm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 3:15am

I agree with the two previous posters.

* Mother in law does not pay your bills/none of her business.
* You are in charge of your family and need to do what you need to do.
* You are not a 'bad' person if you are in debt or need to file bk.
* You can not change the past. You have to move forward, dealing with you situation the best way you can.
* You are in America! You are allowed to go bk, it's an option to keep you and your kids safe.
* You are not your debt.
* You are a tough Mom being able to care for 5 kids all on your own.
* You are not alone in being in debt, being a single mom or maybe going bk.

Good Luck, you are in my thoughts, for a peaceful future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 4:15am

hello Jen


First you are not alone. I agree 300 in the whole a month is a lot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 7:20am
My former husband filed bancruptcy and a few years later he is working in the mortgage/banking industry... Im not sure how. It mustbe possible though probably depends on the cpmpanies policies. As far as your family you need to do what you need to do it might be a good idea not to fill them in on your buisness if you know they are going to react like that. You dont need the stress.

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