how to survive challenging times

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
how to survive challenging times
6
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 12:44am
my husband was in an accident two years ago and has had three surgeries. he is lonely, bored, and in constant pain. the pain pills make him sick. to make matters worse he has lost his jobs and the workers comp insurance has cut him off. i have been working three jobs, and am now down to two. when he lost his job, i had to pick up the medical insurance, a $500 a month cost, we never anticipated. he has spent the last three months on half comp and now that he has been cut off completely, we have enought money to cover our bills for thre months. if there is no settlement by then, we will be out on the street. we have no life, our only child wants nothing to do with us and my only social life is work. for my husband it is worse because he is alone evethyday with his pain. why do i think everything will be all right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 1:19am

Just keep thinking things are okay. Do you belong to a local church?? This often provides the best support during hard times. It is often stable and predictable. Do you have other relatives who can help, esp. on your husband's side of the family? Surely, they are sympathetic.

Also, contact your town's social services dept. to find out about activities for the disabled. They may pickup your husband to take him to the library, YMCA, etc. He really needs to get out and may have to be pushed to do so.

I'm sorry about your child. This happens sometimes. Don't let that get you down. Another idea is foster care where you could work when kids are in school. This would keep a roof over your heads. God Bless you both.

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 9:39am
thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 11:13am

I know what it is to live with pain. I tell my husband all the time I wish I could get up one morning and not hurt


If your husband will get on line while you are working Get him to join a lot of survey places on line. Indox is one that pays real money It isn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 11:31am
thank you for the kind thoughts and kind words. it helps
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 12:42pm

I am sorry to hear about your situation right now. Have you thought about doing daycare? Depending on where you located (it varies state by state by how many kids you can keep without a daycare license-here in IN its 5) you could keep a few children to hep bring in some money. I don't know how much $ you are bringing home right now but you might want to call around and check other providers rates and kind of go by that to figure out the potential. Here in IN we are on the low end of rates but on average its about $90-115/week/child. If this is an option then you would be able to keep your hubby company and also there would be a house full of children to enjoy as well.


As for your child I'm sure he/she will come around eventually. How old? They might be going through their own struggles right now with the situation that's at hand and maybe having some trouble dealing with it. Not that that makes it right for them not to be nice to you guys.


Everything seems like it always work out in the end but its hard to think that way when you're in the thick of it. Someone once told me "To not worry about tomorrow b/c God already has tom taken care of." I love that quote b/c it just makes sense and almost puts me at ease when I'm dealing with something difficult. I hope things get better for you and your husband. Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 1:09pm
thank you for your good thoughts. we do believe it will work out, it just getting through to it working out. day care definetly does not pay in this area and it is a costly process to get licensed and a place certified. our son is an adult and his soon to be wife and her family have taken over and we are definetly the out-laws. we are here whenever he wants to reconnect, but we can not make him want to do that. in the meantime, we just need to get through this time to better time and be grateful for our parents and our other family friends and kind thoughts from thoughtful people. thank yo.