Lets see we got married in July of 1967 and we bought the house in May of the next year so 1968. You can still get cheap houses around here if you are willing to do a little fix up on them. Even a little fixer upper only brings around around 25,000 sometimes. You live in one of the states with the highest price housing in this country. I am in Kentucky a lot cheaper even today to live here. There is a house across the street from me It is only maybe at the most 9 years old has three bedrooms 2 baths maybe a basement I don't know about that with a two car garage connected to it and it is going for 110,000.00 and it has been sitting there for at least 4 months with no takers.. If you were close to the North Carolina boarder if you moved over to North Carolina it would be a ton cheaper for you there. We were there for a 6 years bought two houses one was 57,000 and the last one was 30,000 I bought that one with credit cards. The last one I put about 5,000 into and sold for 64,900 because a lot of people from Virginia was starting to move down to North Carolina to avoid the high taxes in Virginia. This is terrible to say but if you go to your older neighborhood where people have been living in houses for years and are now dying off. The family may live out of town and they just want a fast sale after their parent die, there you can find really cheap houses.
Even now the lease to own market is full of houses because landlords are tired of renters not being able to pay and are selling off their houses on a lease to own agreement. Good luck Mary Ann.
Just as you can't draw conclusions about other people's marriages by what you see, you can't draw conclusions about what other people make by what you see.
But. . . while it isn't very polite for people to comment on what they perceive to be your wealth, I wonder why you are so annoyed with them? If someone owns three new cars, it's reasonable for other people to assume that they're not carrying multiple new car loans so they must have paid for them outright, and if you have a large house with nice furnishings and grownup toys, it's reasonable for people to think that you can afford it all. Since I have been unwise about my own money, I always assume other people are smarter with theirs, and that therefore they are living within their means, paying as they go and saving money. Now, I don't *comment* on it, either to them or to anyone else, because I have learned that (a) you can't draw those conclusions and (b) it's not my business anyway, but that's my assumption - I'm giving them credit for being more financially savvy than I am.
To be blunt, I guess I'm asking, is it fair to be annoyed with your friends for drawing what they think are obvious conclusions, or are you annoyed with yourself for not being as "rich" as they think you are?
I do agree with that quote about not keeping up with the Joneses. Better to just opt out of the race because there is always going to be someone with more than you.
One of the things I started teaching my kids from a pretty young age is that families spend their money differently because different things are important to them. When my oldest was 7yo, she wanted to know why we couldn't go to Disneyworld. We explained that some people like to spend their money on big vacations, we spend ours on things we can do all year long. Either one is fine, it's just a choice. We've had them make their own choices along the way ("we can't afford gymnastic, swimming, AND karate, so you'll have to pick one"), and while money is still a nebulous concept, they at least know that everyone has to make choices, we can't have everything.
When I was growing up, my parents would always say, "We can't afford that," which never made sense to me, because obviously there were things we *could* afford, so why not this thing? I'm hoping that my kids will learn something about tradeoffs and choices with what they have, rather than just wanting *more*.
Hi, Mary Anne et al. People see what they want to see. How true. Interestingly, some people seem to be obsessed with how much stuff costs. Maybe because they want to see if they're getting bargains these days? I dont know. I too get the comments from folks that we are rich. Dont know why. We still have a HELOC, mortgage, some CC debt we're working on.
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Lets see we got married in July of 1967 and we bought the house in May of the next year so 1968. You can still get cheap houses around here if you are willing to do a little fix up on them. Even a little fixer upper only brings around around 25,000 sometimes.
You live in one of the states with the highest price housing in this country.
I am in Kentucky a lot cheaper even today to live here.
There is a house across the street from me It is only maybe at the most 9 years old has three bedrooms 2 baths maybe a basement I don't know about that with a two car garage connected to it and it is going for 110,000.00 and it has been sitting there for at least 4 months with no takers.. If you were close to the North Carolina boarder if you moved over to North Carolina it would be a ton cheaper for you there.
We were there for a 6 years bought two houses one was 57,000 and the last one was 30,000 I bought that one with credit cards. The last one I put about 5,000 into and sold for 64,900 because a lot of people from Virginia was starting to move down to North Carolina to avoid the high taxes in Virginia.
This is terrible to say but if you go to your older neighborhood where people have been living in houses for years and are now dying off. The family may live out of town and they just want a fast sale after their parent die, there you can find really cheap houses.
Even now the lease to own market is full of houses because landlords are tired of renters not being able to pay and are selling off their houses on a lease to own agreement.
Good luck
Mary Ann.
Yes, people do see what they want to see.
Just as you can't draw conclusions about other people's marriages by what you see, you can't draw conclusions about what other people make by what you see.
But. . . while it isn't very polite for people to comment on what they perceive to be your wealth, I wonder why you are so annoyed with them? If someone owns three new cars, it's reasonable for other people to assume that they're not carrying multiple new car loans so they must have paid for them outright, and if you have a large house with nice furnishings and grownup toys, it's reasonable for people to think that you can afford it all. Since I have been unwise about my own money, I always assume other people are smarter with theirs, and that therefore they are living within their means, paying as they go and saving money. Now, I don't *comment* on it, either to them or to anyone else, because I have learned that (a) you can't draw those conclusions and (b) it's not my business anyway, but that's my assumption - I'm giving them credit for being more financially savvy than I am.
To be blunt, I guess I'm asking, is it fair to be annoyed with your friends for drawing what they think are obvious conclusions, or are you annoyed with yourself for not being as "rich" as they think you are?
I do agree with that quote about not keeping up with the Joneses. Better to just opt out of the race because there is always going to be someone with more than you.
Kelly
People see what they want to see.
This is so true.
One of the things I started teaching my kids from a pretty young age is that families spend their money differently because different things are important to them. When my oldest was 7yo, she wanted to know why we couldn't go to Disneyworld. We explained that some people like to spend their money on big vacations, we spend ours on things we can do all year long. Either one is fine, it's just a choice. We've had them make their own choices along the way ("we can't afford gymnastic, swimming, AND karate, so you'll have to pick one"), and while money is still a nebulous concept, they at least know that everyone has to make choices, we can't have everything.
When I was growing up, my parents would always say, "We can't afford that," which never made sense to me, because obviously there were things we *could* afford, so why not this thing? I'm hoping that my kids will learn something about tradeoffs and choices with what they have, rather than just wanting *more*.
Kelly
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I think I'm more annoyed at their comments.
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