Should this bother me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Should this bother me?
26
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 2:58pm

I have told my mom and some close friend about my debt issues in hopes that they will understand when I cannot do something or spend money for a certain event.


Long story short - I was on the phone w/my mom and she commented on how I'd be going to lunch soon (I'm at work) and I said I was going to walmart. My plan was to get a b-day gift for a neighbor child, listerine (walmart brand) and a cheap box of kleenex for my desk.


My mom said real snotty and loud, "DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH!"


I KNOW KNOW KNOW she has my best intentions at heart but I also have to sometimes buy stuff! And I need to learn to stick to a list and manage my expenses. Maybe I'm just sensitive today but do you guys appreciate someone "keeping you in line" or does it bother you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 3:03pm

I personally wouldn't go into detail about my debt to family--just a general--we can't afford it or it's not in our budget right now is all they need to know about it.

Avatar for skinny42
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 3:32pm
Beeps, my mom would say something exactly like that--not because she's mean, but because she has no "filter" and she's 80 and thinks she's earned the right to say anything she wants! Your skin never gets quite thick enough when it comes to family, but they usually mean no harm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 5:14pm

I read all the posting on this.


Your mother meant no harm I am sure of it. Mothers love their children no matter the age.


And all these secrets everyone of your age group wants to keep away from your parents in horrible


We are the ones that love you the most We in a lot of time can help you the most in advice and loans and a lot of things. We have been there and more.


I don't understand how all us parents did the wrong thing in raising all of you because we did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 5:29pm

I would try and let it slide off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 5:35pm

Thanks guys - I was just being emotional today. I love my mom and I know she loves me and just wanted to remind me about my money.


Mary Ann - no matter what age I am - some things are private to ME. I tell my mom about 96% of the things going on in my life - she is my mom and I have always been close with her. But there are those few things that simply I cannot share with her because they are private to ME. Not a secret - just private.


I'm sorry your son is causing you pain. You are a great support on this board and I appreciate all your help in my postings.

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 6:15pm
Yeah - I would certainly be annoyed.

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 7:24pm

parent don't tell your parents you are in trouble is the silliest thing I ever heard in my life.


She did tell her parents--I just don't think they need to know the details of her debt. First, it's not their business, she's a grown up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 8:49pm

If my parents were as understanding as the folks on this board, I'd tell them in a heartbeat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 8:51pm

beeps-


I wouldn't let this one comment bother you.

Avatar for earnhardt_jr_fan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 8:55pm

I don't tell my parents anything about my financial picture - especially my mom. My parents might love me unconditionally and all that jazz, but they won't mind their own business if I tell them what's up. Once we grow into adults, there is absolutely NO reason for us to tell our parents everything. It's OUR life and OUR business. If we choose to keep it to ourselves, so be it. You might see it as lying -- I see it as tending to my own business. *I* do not ask my parents, my friends or anyone else I care about how their financial picture looks. It's not my business!


I'm not 12 and I don't have to answer to my parents any longer. If I choose to not discuss something or I choose to not tell them the entire story about something I AM AN ADULT and that likely means it isn't any of their concern.


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