Should this bother me?
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| Tue, 07-29-2008 - 2:58pm |
I have told my mom and some close friend about my debt issues in hopes that they will understand when I cannot do something or spend money for a certain event.
Long story short - I was on the phone w/my mom and she commented on how I'd be going to lunch soon (I'm at work) and I said I was going to walmart. My plan was to get a b-day gift for a neighbor child, listerine (walmart brand) and a cheap box of kleenex for my desk.
My mom said real snotty and loud, "DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH!"
I KNOW KNOW KNOW she has my best intentions at heart but I also have to sometimes buy stuff! And I need to learn to stick to a list and manage my expenses. Maybe I'm just sensitive today but do you guys appreciate someone "keeping you in line" or does it bother you?

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As a matter of fact my dad recently was reading the paper and said "I don't understand how people can get in $30k of credit card debt.
First I am 60 years old as of 10:30 this morning I have been married 41 years. I have a son that
I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one, Mary Ann.
I'd love to share my debt problems with my mother, and I have to a certain degree. I have a HELOC and four, soon to be five, Parent Plus education loans that I took out to get my daughter through college. (And my daughter took out even more loans than I did!) My mother knows about the school loans. If I told her about the HELOC, she'd insist on helping me out with some money. How can I feel like an adult (I'm 49!) if my mother bails me out again? She gave me more than $5,000 so that I could get a divorce 9 years ago. I want to know that I can do this myself and I don't want any more of her little criticisms than I already get. They hurt! For example, I'm trying to lose 30 lbs. and she knows it and says she supports me in my efforts, yet when I go to see her, she pushes eclairs and chocolate chip cookies on me! Then she'll ask if I've lost any weight and remind me about the diabetes running in my family! If she were more like you, you bet I'd talk to her about finances! I love reading your postings. You are very down-to-earth and practical. Thanks for your input!
Mary Jo
Thanks
Next time you visit mother I tell you what to do. When she pushes the
I wouldn't let it bother you. I know its hard (family sure does know how to get under your skin) but I don't think it was meant in a malicious way.
As for sharing financial "secrets" with family, my family knows everything, mainly because my little sister lives with me, and a good chunk of my debt is from lending money to the family. In fact, if they were to suddenly pay me back everything they owe me, I would have no CC debt. Ah well, doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon :(
Bex -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."
Bex -
And I feel terrible that he doesn't trust us enought to tell when
So you see if someone offers you some money they really want you to have it.
Well luckily in your case this lady really had it to offer. I think that if I called my parents and told them I really needed money, they would give it to me even if they didn't really have it or borrowed it themselves to give it to me. I just don't think that because someone is offering necessarily means they have it to give. KWIM? I don't think it would be right to put someone else in financial trouble just to save myself despite the fact that they really may want me to have it.
Guess I was
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