Should this bother me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Should this bother me?
26
Tue, 07-29-2008 - 2:58pm

I have told my mom and some close friend about my debt issues in hopes that they will understand when I cannot do something or spend money for a certain event.


Long story short - I was on the phone w/my mom and she commented on how I'd be going to lunch soon (I'm at work) and I said I was going to walmart. My plan was to get a b-day gift for a neighbor child, listerine (walmart brand) and a cheap box of kleenex for my desk.


My mom said real snotty and loud, "DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH!"


I KNOW KNOW KNOW she has my best intentions at heart but I also have to sometimes buy stuff! And I need to learn to stick to a list and manage my expenses. Maybe I'm just sensitive today but do you guys appreciate someone "keeping you in line" or does it bother you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 2:28pm

If you expect me to say I am sorry forget it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 3:03pm

It is a bit cruel to say that Brandee doesn't love her family and wouldn't miss them when they pass away.


I am going to have to agree to disagree with you Mary Ann but I appreciate you WANTING to be helpful with your thoughts. I think personally you spend too much time focusing on "our youth" instead of hearing what we are saying but that is ok. You may see some of

Avatar for earnhardt_jr_fan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 4:39pm

And I won't say I'm sorry for not wanting my parents in my financial business.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 4:43pm

Mary Ann,
I do understand where you are coming from. However, from what I understand reading others messages, they hesitate to discuss their debt situations with their parents or other relatives for the same reason that I do.

Put simply, I know that if I tell my family about my debt situation they will insist on treating me like a child who has no idea how to handle money. As a result I choose not to tell them about the debt, as being treated like a child will not help my situation. BUT this does not mean that I don't want my family in my life - it just means that I know what the reaction of my family would be, and know that it would not be helpful for me to share in this situation.

I should also add, my mother is dead, and as a result it is my grandmother's reaction that I am guided by - she is 61.




Edited 7/30/2008 4:45 pm ET by spannergal
Lyn

Avatar for earnhardt_jr_fan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 4:51pm

Also, you can disagree with my (and others) decision to not share all of our financial information with our families. However, I won't tolerate you personally attacking me and accusing me of not loving my family and wishing them dead. I will NOT tolerate it. That is mean spirited, cruel and unacceptable. If you don't like my decision, FINE. YOU don't have to like it - because frankly at the end of the day it has NOTHING to do with YOU! But, I won't tolerate it.


You can believe what you believe. That is fine. You are entitled to YOUR opinion - we all have them! But, I DO think an apology for accusing me of not loving my family, not being grateful for them and wishing them dead is in order because that was just plain unacceptable.


I NEVER attacked you personally. I simply stated my view of things and you've turned this into an ugly attack on me, my family and my character. I'm disgusted by the words you've written and frankly -- this will be the LAST thing I EVER say to you on these boards. I don't care if I agree or disagree with you from this day forward, I won't say another word to you.


I am stunned at how incredibly cruel you were in your message. I love my family and am grateful everyday for them and just because I don't want to tell them about debt I have, or bankruptcy I filed or a payment I might have missed has nothing to do with the love I feel for them. And when they are dead and gone, I won't wish I shared my financial situation with them -- I will simply miss them because they are gone.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 5:56pm

Brandee I am sorry came out the wrong way Sorry


But you should

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