In-law issue (long)
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| Sat, 08-16-2008 - 3:45pm |
Hello,
I've been reading this board for a long time but have never posted. I'm always inspired by what you ladies have accomplished. I'm posting today because I have a bit of an issue (or maybe just a vent).
First of all, this past January I decided enough was enough, and I told my husband that we're paying off our cc debt this year. I'm happy to say that we paid it off last week. So now our only debt is our mortgage, which is pretty reasonable. We did all the things you do when you're trying to pay down debt; we scrimped, saved and sacrificed. We used most of our savings account to pay off the last $1500, but it's done.
So now, of course, we need to build up our savings account again to what it was and beyond. And in our quest to pay off the credit card, we put off doing some things that need to be done now, such as buy a new mattress and get some work done on my husbands truck. Our refrigerator is on it's last legs and needs to be replaced, and our property taxes are due early next year.
We figured we can save about $1100 a month, so besides a healthy savings account we want to start saving seriously for retirement.
Now, the problem is with my in-laws. My fil is retired from the military and retired a few years ago from another government job. I don't really know anything at all about their financial situation, but I'm guessing that two government pensions would be pretty good. Once he retired they sold their house, bought a modular home in another town, upgraded their trailer (they planned to do quite a bit of traveling once they retired), upgraded the truck to pull it, and bought a new car. I don't know if those items are paid for, or if they are making payments on them.
Once the gas prices jumped up to over $2 a gallon, traveling in the trailer was pretty much out of the question. They use it very rarely. Anyway, at about that time my fil mentioned to my dh that they were going to have a tough time paying their property taxes. We had money in the bank so we sent them the money to pay for their taxes as a gift (it was around Christmas). We discussed it and decided it wouldn't break the bank. The following year we sent about half of the original amount and again last year ($500).
My husband mentioned sending them money this year and in the past I never hesitated. They're nice people, they raised a wonderful man, and I learned a lesson about how important it is to be prepared for retirement. But...just a few months ago, my fil mentioned to my dh that they bought a flat screen t.v. for their trailer (which they only use once or twice a year), and my mil liked it so much that they went out and bought a 42" plasma screen for the house.
I guess my thought is that if they can afford to buy two new t.v.'s, they shouldn't need our money. Or have they just become accustomed to getting it, that they are just assuming we'll send it this year? I hate to sound petty, but by the time we've paid for the necessary things we need there's still not going to be all that much in our savings account.
So, what would you do? Am I being petty? Should I even bring it up to my husband?
If you've gotten this far in my novel, thanks for reading. I think I just wanted to get this off my chest. There's really nobody else I can talk to about this.

From reading your posting twice this is what I get from it. I think your father in law is just venting to his son. He isn't really asking for money to pay his taxes he is saying my taxes suck and we are going to have to cut back a little to get them paid on time. My guess is all his taxes are high. On the truck and the camper and such. If he never ask you guys for money out front then he is just venting like you are venting. I over hear my husband and our grown son venting all the time about taxes.
Hello, and thanks for posting.
First and foremost CONGRATULATIONS on paying off your debt!!
Now, about the in-laws.
Hi Ladies,
Thank you for your wise words. I've been thinking it over these past few days and feel much better about things.
Mary Ann-I bet you're right! My fil was just venting about taxes (as we all do) and since my dh is a "fixer", he decided he wanted to fix things.
Robyn-the money absolutely was a gift and