New To Group - Need debt advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
New To Group - Need debt advice
5
Wed, 08-27-2008 - 11:42pm

Hello. I have read some of the posts and I'm not sure where to begin. Of course I feel incredibly stupid with the situation I have gotten myself into, and a little bit selfish. I will try to give it to you in a nut shell.


I was engaged at 21, which didn't work out. We had accumulated about 10k in debt by traveling in college and buying things we didn't need. Everything was on his credit card. I felt bad, so I transferred about 5k from his card to mine and gave him the 3k ring back. This is where the snowballing began.


Being in college, with minimal income, it was easy to get further and further in debt. I couldn't even tell you what I spent the money on. I was around this time I met my current husband (I am 28 now, he is in his early 40's, we have been together for 6 years and married for 2.5) I remember thinking, if I could just keep my debt under 10k, then 12k, then 15k, then 18k, then I finally got up to 21k before I broke down. I figured I would pay it off after college. haha. My husband had/has a lot of financial problems. He filed for bankruptcy in 1999. It will be discharged next year. From the time we were together in 2002 to 2005 he had credit cards with lower limits (around $500). Apparently he never paid them, and the collectors came calling. In an effort to keep are relationship alive and not ruin his image to my parents, I would charge the collections to my credit card in an effort to settle. This was how I got from 15k to 21k. I also would pay for a lot of things as he never had much money (I don't want to point the finger, I'm just explaining).


Sometime in 2004 I learned that he had been claiming 8 dependents on his employment taxes. He only had one dependent, himself. (He has a daughter which he cannot claim, and pays 400/month in child support.) He did this from 1999-2005. Until I figured it out and made him change it. We got married and had a lot of bills at that time. So the IRS put him on a installment agreement to attempt to pay down his 32k he owed them. The installment is for $100 a month which was manageable. Their interest and penalties are steep and we never seem to make a dent. He has never defaulted on a payment with them or been late filing.


Our current situation has changed. We are living with my Grandparents as I take care of my grandfather who has parkisons disease. I work part time and make about 400/month. My husband works full time and nets about 370/week.. We no longer have the expenses of rent, etc and our vehicles are paid off.

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:20am

That's such a difficult situation! The IRS is probably the least forgiving of creditors. =c( I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sure someone here will. You can also try the Debt Q&A board at http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-mldebtqa

I know how quickly things can snowball. That happened to us. DH and I learned our lesson at a thankfully young age, and that's one thing you guys can be grateful for. Once you do climb out of this, you'll carry the lesson with you. There are adults in retirement who have lived their whole lives and haven't figured it out yet, so it's a valuable asset, however hard it is to shoulder right now.

Please let us know how this turns out.

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Goal: Debt free by January 2010 so we can build our dream home!

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:20pm

Thank you sohapplilyme. It was nice to hear some words of encouragement. Thank you for taking the time. :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 10:32am

Hugs to you !


I know you are caring for your grandfather but any way you or your DH could work a second evening job for some extra income? I know a lot of retail stores hire for the holidays. If your DH could pitch in helping care for your grandpa during the evenings you could always work a little and make some extra spending cash at least.


You are doing the best you can to work with what you have. Caring for a sick person is commendable all in itself. It's stressful and exhausting and you deserve a lot of credit for that. You might not have a lot of wealth financially but you are wealthy in heart.


Try to have a nice weekend !

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 1:13pm
Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the kind words. My husband works second shift so we have talked about him working part time before he goes into his regular job at 2pm. It would be nice to have some help with my grandfather, but his insurance only kicks in at a certain point. Thanks again for responding! I'll keep everyone updated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 4:23pm

On the TV all the time you see those lawyers that have done settlements for people that owe taxes. Have you all looked into doing something like that. And if they could get a settlement for say half of what your husband owes could you come up with the money. Would you have enough in your credit card limit to transfer the whole thing over to something like that.


I know we are talking about a lot of money but if you shop around at bankrate.com and a few others that offer low interest on the first transfer in the long run it might save you a pile of interest on the IRS debt.


I think it is worth looking into.


Mary Ann


My hugs go out to you.