Money dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Money dilemma
3
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:09pm
Am I crazy... I am a hard worker and always have been. I can honestly say that I wasn't always 100% responsible with my money, but I knew what I had to do. I've been married close to 3 years. I worked a full time job until I was recently laid off and I also have a real estate business on the side. All of my extra income has gone toward debt over the last year. My debt is minimal. My husband is over his head in debt and I didn't know that... we're talking $50,000 plus. We took a line of credit out on our homes equity to deal with some of it... it didn't seem to sink in for him. My husband has paid only the on it interest in the last year... none of the principal. I just got an insurance settlement from a car accident for which I suffered injuries and am still dealing with those injuries and treatment. I paid more of his debt... I don't know what to do. I feel like he doesn't appreciate it, but if I don't try help him, he'll bring me down with him. I guess this issue, topped with me recently losing my job, has gotten the best of me. I just feel like I try so hard and my husband just doesn't want to take the bull by the horns and deal with it. I'm partially venting and thanks for listening.. but is anyone else out there with a similar situation. How are you dealing with it? What did you do to get back on track?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
In reply to: dvshoelady
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 11:40pm

It is too late to take back the home equity loan and other money you have paid towards it, but Suzy Orman always says that you should never pay unsecured debt with secured property. If you default on the home equity loan, they can reposses your house. Too late now, but consider this when you are tempted to put a huge chunk of money towards his debt.

Has your husband considered filing for bankruptcy? It is not as bad as it used to be. He could look into doing a chapter 7 which is where all unsecured debt is discharged and you do not pay anything back or a chapter 13, which is where a payment plan is devised and your husband would be responsible for paying back a certain amount per month. Sometimes only pennies on the dollar. But with that comes some restrictions- such as he can not take out a loan without the courts approval while he is in bankruptcy.

This might be what has to happen with your husband. Call and talk to a bankruptcy attorney. The consult should be free. Do not go to an attorney who charges. Call the Clerk of Court's office in the Bankruptcy Court in your area and ask them if they can give you the names of some attorneys who do bankruptcy. The names they give you mean that the attys practice out of the bankruptcy court often & probably primarily do only bankruptcy.

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Good luck you !!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: dvshoelady
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 10:42am

I know this might seem extreme but have you told him you are seriously upset this might effect your marriage? I am not saying threaten divorce (that is never smart unless you are serious) but does he realize you regret being pulled down into this debt spiral when it isn't YOU that is causing this debt to get worse and worse?


perhaps if you were forthcoming (not saying you haven't been up till now) he might realize the severity of this.


Hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: dvshoelady
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 6:06pm

My DH has gotten us into a lot of debt, too. I contributed, but he's been worse about it. I refuse to divorce over money issues. This is my 2nd marriage and I want it to work!

Anyhow, my DH and I both enrolled in a debt management program with Money Management International. Suze Orman reccomends them, so does Quicken. I keep mentioning them to people here, I sound like a broken record, but they are worth it! They will deal with the CC companies and get your interest and payments lowered, which will pay our debt off in 4 years instead of 29 just paying the minimum. We are in around $70k in debt. It's made me very depressed, but I'm trying to focus on the positive.

Look into MMI, they will give you free advice over the phone.

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