Green Eyed Monster
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Green Eyed Monster
| Fri, 08-29-2008 - 10:45am |
I just came home from preschool orientation for my daughter and I want to cry.
| Fri, 08-29-2008 - 10:45am |
I just came home from preschool orientation for my daughter and I want to cry.
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I have to repeat your husband here - you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. Their lives may not be as Stepford as you think. I know its hard when you see someone with a new Coach purse and you envy that but just step back and be thankful for what you DO have.
I guess I'm just reflective today b/c I came into work and found out a coworker of mine's husband died last night. Just dropped dead at work and died. He was in his 50's. My heart breaks for them. You don't know if these "stepford moms" have broken marraiges, sick kids, sick family members or perfect lives. We all have different cards dealt to us and sometimes its hard when we think other people are "living the dream" and we aren't. I have those feelings too when people can buy or do things I can't afford to do.
Happens to all of us but just try and remember that you DO have great things in your life and trust me - somewhere someone is looking at you and your life and your kids and envying what YOU have.
I also agree with your husband. Don't be fooled by appearances. They can hide the truth. Before I had my last 2 kids, I used to work in private banking - where high net worth clients get their own personal banker. Only about half of my clients were truly well off. 1/4 were just okay, and another 1/4 were living completely beyond their means and completely on credit. I had one couple whose only method of "paying" their HELOC was to transfer the payment amount into their checking account and then transfer it right back to make it look like a payment. They had an income in excess of $250,000 and all the bright shiny things to show everyone that they made they kind of money, but they literally mortgaged their house to buy all of the bells and whistles. I had more money in my checking account at the end of the month than some of my clients did, even though we make 1/4 as much!
My aunt worked for a charity alongside someone for years who always bragged about the great deals she got at Goodwill and dressed very plainly. She later found out that the woman was heiress to a local newspaper fortune and is the wife of the current co-owner of a Major League Baseball team. ;) You just never know who a person really is.
I know it's hard to keep perspective in a society that is somaterialistic to begin, but your husband is so right. Enjoy the love of your family and try not to worry about anyone else. You'll have you cake and eat it too eventually.
I would have to agree with your husband.
All of you- and DH are right.
If it bothers you and if it is going to effect how your child is treated. Instead of going to Walmart. Save up go to one of the upscale consignment stores and buy yourself a couple of outfits there. The clothes do last longer. Then the next time you have to go to the school you will be dressed just like the other mothers on a Walmart budget.
I agree with everything all the others have said. But in my pass I know how a mother dresses when she walks in an upscale school can effect the child that is going there. Not a good thing but it is fact of life.
You don't have to spend the money they are spending but you can look as good or better then they look if you are a smart shopper. Personally I am big on goodwill and consignment stores and I never go to Walmart.
Before we moved to North Carolina it had been maybe 10 years since I walked into a Walmart store. Then I got down there and it was like you weren't sane unless you went to Walmart on Saturdays When we moved back to Kentucky 3 years ago that was the last time I have been to Walmart. Most of my good clothes comes from the Jewish thrift store here in town. That shop is very upscale and very cheap.
Hugs
Mary Ann
I totally know what you are feeling. And, like you said in your previous post, you know what your husband says is right but that doesn't make it easier. My job puts me in contact with "the other half" all the time. This morning I was in the home of a cardiologist and head of pediatrics for a major university hospital, and it was the most gorgeous place ever!!! And even though I love my house, I felt a twinge, wishing my kids could have the great playhouse in the backyard -- and I coveted the kitchen. OMG, it was better than something in a magazine!!!
So, yes, I wish it was mine. And maybe I'll have something like it someday. Or maybe I won't. The important thing is I'm living within my means, my debt is decreasing, and the needs of myself and my family are being met. It doesn't make it better, but it helps to remind myself that when jealousy rears its ugly head.
I have no words of wisdom. I just wanted to tell you I understand and I think you are great.
Hugs to you and yours,
Meredith
Ladies, you have no idea how much your responses have meant to me.
Shoot, lost my earlier reply!
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