Old, bad habits

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Old, bad habits
25
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 10:11am

Holidays are starting to renew some old habits I've been very good at pushing down. First off, I am an early Christmas shopper. My "problem" lies in that I find a gift and I HAVE To purchase it right then because my mindset is that what if its gone next time I go to search for it? Because of this I have been buying a lot of things and we have been tight with our money.


We aren't resorting to credit cards - they are not being used under any circumstances. But, it just puts us short on having any extra cash or such until payday. These are old habits I used to fall into but I guess right now I can JUSTIFY them in my head because I'm telling myself they are for gifts and for the holiday.


I just find myself seeing presents for people and getting the impulse that I MUST PURCHASE THEM NOW!! Why do I do this?


Also, I need to really work on coming to terms with the fact that some people in my life are going to get ONE gift. I am an overspender, overgifter. Maybe b/c people give my kids 3 or 4 gifts (I'm talking my mom and sister here) but I feel that I have to get them numerous gifts. I can't just get my sister a calendar. I feel I have to get her 2 or 3 other things. All adding up to more money than I'd like to spend but she does it for me. It's exhausting. How do you guys deal with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 5:44pm
Boy did your post ring a BIG bell with me. I LIVE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! I try to control my spending but always go over. I spend about $5000 every year. I buy for my 2 kids, husband, sister/husband, 5 nephews, 3 neices and 2 husbands of those neices plus there is decorations and food/entertaing. I have been out of work (long story) and am thinking of getting a job just to pay for christmas!!!! I'm crazy!!!!! In the past when I was working I never curtailed my spending and always used credit cards that took me all year or never to pay off. what is wrong with me??????
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 6:03pm

I am (or should i say WAS) a huge shopping addict. I mean i would shop 4-5 a week. You have to really stop and think about yourself. Be a little selfish. This is hurting NO ONE, but yourself. I adore buying great gifts for ppl and seeing their faces when they open them up. Probably even better than getting gifts myself. Now think about this, who is going to suffer later? Who is the one that is going to be miserable & stressed paying credit card bills? Even if you an afford it, all that extra money you're spending would go so much further if, say, you invested it, or put it in a college fund for the kids.


Anything in excess is bad and the people in your lives should be happy with the thoughtful not-so-expensive gift they get. If they are not, maybe

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2006
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 6:51pm

I am the complete opposite of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2007
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:59am

Here's my Christmas rules,


Two gifts each for immediate family parents, brothers/sisters and dh, these are probably going to be the people you'll see Christmas morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 11:02am

I hear and understand "logically" what you are saying about presents and money but.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 12:58pm
I have this problem with my husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 1:19pm

At this point in my life I'm trying to have LESS in the way of things and more in the way of EXPERIENCES.Really,who needs another friggin body scrub for Christmas?!!But I digress...would you consider spending the day with mom/sister doing something you would all enjoy?a day at the spa(massage therapy schools offer massage at a fraction of normal price)go to a concert,see a play at the local theatre,do some volunteer work together? The MEMORIES you make together are the thing long remembered,not another calendar....good luck to you,let me know if this helped you....now where is that vanilla sugar body scrub?!!!LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 2:01pm
One thing I have done is set a budget for each person and however many gifts fit within that budget is what they get - one person may get one thing but it cost a lot more and someone else may get 5...they just cost less. That way I have a cut off for spending for that person - I can't get out of control becasue there is an "end"...just a thought.








iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 4:33pm

The truth of the matter is that whether you feel like it or not, presents are not a competition. You are feeling like you are obligated to buy equal or better numbers of gifts for the people you are close to when in fact, the gifts are probably thoughtless, plastic encased garbage that will be cast aside in a few weeks.

Consider this: spend more time buying the right gift than more money buying enough gifts. Or make personal gifts for people, such as have the kids make ornaments for their cousins. Gifts that have thought behind them are more special than the lastest Ironman figure. Or your family could consider a weekend getaway instead. If you look at how much money (dollar-wise) that your entire family spends on one another, you would probably be shocked to find that a trip to a nice resort with all your loved ones is cheaper!

That's what our family is doing this year. They just built a Great Wolf Lodge in our area that has an incrediable water park. All of us (that means 10 people) are going for 2 nights over Christmas and it was only $1300 for the whole thing. That's only $130 per person for two days of memories that will last forever, as opposed to the junk that I'd be stepping on in the middle of the night. MONEY WELL SPENT!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 4:50pm

My family gave up all christimas gifts 7 years ago.