Old, bad habits

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Old, bad habits
25
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 10:11am

Holidays are starting to renew some old habits I've been very good at pushing down. First off, I am an early Christmas shopper. My "problem" lies in that I find a gift and I HAVE To purchase it right then because my mindset is that what if its gone next time I go to search for it? Because of this I have been buying a lot of things and we have been tight with our money.


We aren't resorting to credit cards - they are not being used under any circumstances. But, it just puts us short on having any extra cash or such until payday. These are old habits I used to fall into but I guess right now I can JUSTIFY them in my head because I'm telling myself they are for gifts and for the holiday.


I just find myself seeing presents for people and getting the impulse that I MUST PURCHASE THEM NOW!! Why do I do this?


Also, I need to really work on coming to terms with the fact that some people in my life are going to get ONE gift. I am an overspender, overgifter. Maybe b/c people give my kids 3 or 4 gifts (I'm talking my mom and sister here) but I feel that I have to get them numerous gifts. I can't just get my sister a calendar. I feel I have to get her 2 or 3 other things. All adding up to more money than I'd like to spend but she does it for me. It's exhausting. How do you guys deal with this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 4:51pm

I think going out of town or just spending time with family is great. I have been trying to get my family to do that for years. Now, I just don't by anyone a gift. I am glad my family loves me that much, they still talk to me!!!


I am single and they expect me to be selfish, so I live up to their expectations. This Christmas I plan to do the same thing. I am a Christmas Gift, that is enough. Bottom line they will not be around to pay my debt after the holidays.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 10-01-2008 - 10:05am

I have to admit that Christmas has been one of the most wonderful times of year for my family and being from divorced parents gifts were always double and triple the fun.


But NOW in today's world, I've been married 12 years and have 3 kids, a two parent income and trying to save for college and retirement, YOU JUST CAN"T spend all the money you want to for holiday's anymore.


In fact just this year my family and I have promised each other that we are going to start a new trend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2008
Wed, 10-01-2008 - 10:37pm

I love to shop...it's a pastime, a hobby and probably an addiction. However, all the credit cards are in DHs name, and we don't have much left over at the end of the week because I have put auto transfers on money to go into a savings account for home heating fuel, homeowner's dues next spring, and property taxes so that we aren't scrambling when those things come due. It's been a responsible and perfectly workable way of doing it--and it's REALLY curbed the shopping habit I had.

However, we will discuss and agree on Xmas, but it won't be what I wish it would. We have 6 kids, his parents, my mom and grandmothers, we each have 2 siblings, and when they ALL shower gifts on all of our kids, I don't know how to NOT return the courtesy! I am crafty, and could probably make something for each family member for under $10, but with 6 kids, I hardly know where I'd find the time!

I have 3 who are 4 and under, so they won't realize what's really going on as much if they only get 1 or 2 little things they wanted. But Xmas and birthdays are all they get each year! We don't buy goodies for no reason--they only get gift at birthdays and Xmas--never at the grocery store or just for no reason, so I hate to shrink down what is already one of 2 gift giving occasions for them! Plus they LOVE to shop for each other, and they get so much joy out of wrapping the things they buy for one another...

It's going to be tough this year, but really, it's not about the gifts, but that family time that day over pancakes and warm maple syrup, curling up by the fire reading the bible story of Jesus' birth...I love that time of year, and I'm sure I won't love it any less with fewer gifts. Now, if the TREE had to go, too.....WATCH OUT!!!

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pregnancy week by week
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 10:05am
We women are bad at saying no, I think we don't want to create hurt feelings in others who may not understand how tight things may be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2008
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 11:22am
Christmas is for kids. DH and I exchange one small gift and for the kids we set a limit... right now its $100 per kid. Times 4 thats $400... we go to places like Wal mart to make it stretch because let's face it, they are really just excited about ripping open the paper LOL. Now for my 12 yr old DD, she usually picks ONE thing...this year it was tall converse boots. they are sixty bucks so I will go get her a few tops or jeans also. Good luck!

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