Feeling like the only one...
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| Fri, 11-07-2008 - 5:09pm |
I work in an office with many very nice ladies. One of the women in the office suggested instead of buying gifts for each other (I usually bake for everyone and get a few women - closer friends - 4 ladies a small gift) that we go to dinner together instead and spend time together. While this SOUNDS like a lovely idea the group of 5 ladies has spiraled into a group of about 12. I suggested a lunch originally (knowing it'd be cheaper) but everyone wants to go out on a weekend and have drinks.
Come on now - I've been burned in the past when going out for drinks w/people. I will have ONE drink and a diet coke and I am then splitting the tab with someone who has like 8 martini's. So, after all this went down I was honest and told this one girl that I most likely won't go to the dinner b/c I can't afford it. They are picking the first week of December and that is my dh and my 5th wedding anniversary. We are planning a one night overnight somewhere that will probably cost us about $200. We have budgeted for this but cannot also go out and have me spend $60 on dinner!
This co-worker kept egging me on to go. I know what you are all going to say - she isn't a "true" friend if she doesn't understand. You are right BUT it still makes me the ONLY one who is saying I can't go because of money. Is it just me? How is it that everyone can buy stuff during the holidays and go out and socialize AND STILL have money to pay bills? I plan for xmas and the holiday all year long. We bought holiday gifts using my dh's overtime check last month. If not for that OT check - we wouldn't be having a xmas at all.
I am just down because I feel like its always just ME saying NO to things.

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I just had this conversation with my fiance. We're working really hard to build up savings and pay off debt, and we just realized that people that aren't as focused on this probably just charge stuff to credit cards...and increase their debt.
It's about priorities really! I bet you some of those ladies are also reluctant to go but don't want to say so.
I find that when I clearly state that I cannot go because of financial constraints, people in my office are respectful of that.
All my best,
Danni
I agree with Danni.
I bet a lot of them actually can't really afford it either.
I know exactly how you feel. I try to budget for the occasional night out like this, but sometimes I just have to say no, not this time. It is never easy though, because I DO want to go. You could always offer to come along, but not drink, or if it's a dinner, order only an appetizer and tell the server you'd like that on a separate check.
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Definitely sounds like some of
A good friend of mine used to just say , "oh, it's not in the budget for this week."
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