Learning life's lessons fast !

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Learning life's lessons fast !
2
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 12:57pm

Hello all, I'm a long-time lurker, on and off. I decided that it would be best for me to try to become active on this forum..as debt support is something I definitely need, desperately!

A couple years ago, I remember hearing that the majority of couple's arguments were over money and scoffing. I was raised that material things are unimportant, and through my teen years I stood by that. I'm extremely uncomfortable borrowing money or accepting gifts, I have always been. My parents weren't very well off, but we always made ends meet.

I was free of credit card debt when my fiancee and I started dating in June of 2006. As our relationship progressed, I saw he was under a very heavy burden financially. He had accrued a good amount of debt while in college, and helping his father through some rough times. He was paying a ridiculously high interest rate so I offered to transfer some of it to my name, I had great credit and could get better rates. I also bought expensive gifts, a computer, an xbox 360. I liked being in a position to help.

A bit over a year ago, we made the decision to move to Florida which ended up being even more costly. My credit bore the weight of the gas, hotel, security deposit, and buying a cheap car for myself once we arrived.

I started feeling the pinch by now, we were sometimes charging groceries and gas, our paychecks just didn't extend far enough after paying our bills. So, I shifted focus to the debt. I consolidated 3 credit cards with Cambridge because my low intro rate was coming to an end and Cambridge was able to keep my rates low. I got a little bit of money in savings (which was difficult to do, living paycheck to paycheck..but I managed to put about $800 away)
As soon as I felt like I was making progress, and would start to see a dent in my debt.. disaster struck. April of this year, my mother passed away. A thousand miles away. We drove all night to be with my family, and I ended up making a very difficult decision to spend the summer in Pennsylvania. Now between the plane tickets, gas, and time out of work, the savings we had managed was gone..and then some. I needed to be up north to know that my father and family were okay, but financially it was another blow.

I feel like I'm right back where I started now that I've returned to Florida. Luckily, my old employer offered me another position upon moving back, without a decrease in pay. (When I moved, I thought it would be permanent.. when my fiancee was unable to transfer I ended up moving back)

We're in a position where we want to get married and start a family, more than anything. This debt makes that impossible. The marriage not so much, we don't plan on anything big.. but I don't want to have a child when I feel some days that we can hardly take care of ourselves.

Sorry for the long intro..lol

And I am not sure why this is marking it as High Interest..
I didn't check anything like that. Gotta find my way around these boards a bit better..sorry




Edited 11/20/2008 1:01 pm ET by nikki0610
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 4:45pm

Welcome to the board. I am sure the trouble times will be over for you guys soon. And for the rest of us poor souls.


Only advice I can give you is this cut back cut down and if it is only 5.00 you are saving put it somewhere either in a saving account or on a bill Most people say to themselves a little money can do no good well it can If it weren't for the little money I wouldn't have my debt paid off as much as I have.


Because most of the time I don't have two pennies to rub together.


Take it one day at a time and keep on top of things and your eyes open


Mary Ann


Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 8:21am

Welcome to the board!!


So far for me I'm finding ING one of my best friends.