Trying to be POSITIVE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Trying to be POSITIVE!
8
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 5:08pm

We've only been on our budget/get us the heck out of debt kick for a couple months. My list of successes so far is long. I've managed to create a budget, secure an EF, pay off a couple CC and set up a plan to have all cc, student loans, and car paid off in about three years. And we're celebrating our first ever "cash" Christmas. My DH has an irregular income b/c of commissions, but we've set $ aside to cover the lean months (which I DESPERATELY wanted to use for debt, but haven't) and look for a lucrative 2009.

So why am I still up at night? It just keeps running through my head I can't believe what we owe and how we got here. I feel ashamed and, for lack of a better word, stupid! I've scoured through financial books the past couple months and can't believe how little I knew about finances in general.

The worst part is I look back at decision after decision and continue to beat myself up.

I should be happy! I've seen the light and though DH isn't convinced, I'm dragging him along too! I've got great kids, a job I like, and a new house (which, of course, I beat myself up about too - though we got a great deal and plan to be here forever).

Anyone else grapple the first few months with feeling bad and impatient -- any advice on how to stop obsessing and just get on with the plan?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 5:35pm

Hello


No reason to beat yourself up because it doesn't do any good. Funny thing about life you can not change the pass only the present and the days ahead. As long as you changing your financial life today and it seems you are and you are learning from your pass then you are three steps ahead of the game.


Don't worry about your husband seeing the light Mine still has his head in the sand 80% of time As long as he doesn't charge up big things and bring them home don't worry about it so much.


I think a lot of us. I know I do wish that my balances would go down faster. I work on a 500.00 level I see the amount of debt be 624.00 and I could rob a bank some months to get that 126.00 to put on the debt just to see it under that 500.00 mark This is human.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 5:36pm

Trust me, I beat myself up for a looooooooooooooooooong time before I got to where I am now. I still have days where I want to kick myself right in the a$$ for making the mistakes I did.


But think of it this way - at least you opened your eyes to your debt when you did and not a year from that date. Think how much WORSE it could be! But, its not, You are making changes now. You must focus on the positive and think of the best. Beating yourself up about things doesn't make the debt go away faster. Just makes you more crabby about things.


You are doing great!

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 5:53pm

Honestly - this will be a very interesting journey, and you will learn much about yourself along the way.

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 7:14pm

I agree with the pp but wanted to make a couple of practical, action suggestions that might help turn your mindset.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 7:23pm

I'm not in my first months of budgeting but I can say that I do beat myself up about the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 8:24pm

Make a list of all those things you HAVE accomplished!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 9:58am

It sounds like you have definitely gotten on the right track with the budget and your future outlook.


Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 11:51am

Wow that could have been me posting exactly what you did! I have a burning desire to put my ef on my debt! And I also manage 2-3 nights of good sleep a week. Beating myself up seems to be a hobby of late. I go to sleep with it and wake up with this debt. This board is so awesome though! Most times it is the high light of my day. I have come a long way....TICKER POWER is amazing. But I often think to myself. If anything ever happened, poof, there goes my house of cards. I long for the day of financial independence. I am hoping next year will be that year, and if it isn't, it will be a hell of a lot closer than May of 2008! It gets better every month. And who makes it that way? Better every month? YOU DO! So guess who gets to celebrate when the goals are met? YOU DO!

I am so there with you Mary Ann with the $126 dollar example. I love when it goes under! TICKER POWER. I had a post called I want a ticker not a belly itcher, and it took about 2 weeks before it worked but Now I have this fabulous little green frog. And the little bugger hops when I damn well tell him too(much unlike husbands and bfs LOL). So I take solace in him. Oh and Mary Ann.......I still giggle when think about your advice to the lady with the Victoria secret cc. Being nude turns them on just as well. I spit out my coffee when I read that! Love it. These are the things that keep us going and motivated.

Sometimes I think to the future and want to make this experience positive. At some point I truly believe I will be able to pass on the experience and the knowledge to someone I know that is going through this and make their life better and offer support.

YOU have the power, YOU are doing great and YOU will make this happen. Onward and upward Ladies!