How should I handle oweing my parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
How should I handle oweing my parents?
18
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 8:43am

I owe each of my parents $10,000 dollars. They are divorced. Both of my parents were previously in a position to lend me money but no longer are. I feel a lot of guilt knowing how badly they could use the money I owe them, but I have no way of starting to pay them back until my debt is payed off which should be in another year or less. My mom is 52 and she has 16,000 dollars in the bank and she recently bought a home and a car. Her goal is to pay both of those off before she retires. She has no retirement. My mothers problem is that she is afraid of investing. She makes a good amount of money as a nurse but she squirells her money away in a savings account and refuses to look at the stock market.


My father has maybe a small retirement fund, but I'm not sure about that. He works for himself and everything....EVERYTHING goes for the business in the hopes of someday striking it rich, I guess. He's run into some really hard times recently as he's in the construction business. I feel most guilty about oweing him money because he is struggling to pay his rent right now. He is 55 and had a stroke at 47 so i also worry about his health and how much longer he'll be able to work under the stress of not having any money. He is not good at saving at all.


My mother says that she doesn't want the money back. She just wants to see us on our feet again and out of debt. I have told my dad that I can start paying him back in a year. I am very serious about paying them both off though, no matter what my mom says.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:28pm

Thanks...I do have a plan to pay them back. I can't start it until my last credit card is payed off (in a year)because we're dealing with lawyers right now and they don't take 'wait' for an answer. The reason why I accepted so much money from my parents is because I was on the verge of losing my home and maybe being on the streets. They didn't want to see their grandchildren homeless. It wasn't that I was taking advantage of them. They lost a few homes in their lifetime and didn't want to see me go through the same thing. I hope that if my kids ever needed me in the same way, I would be able to do for them what my parents did for me. We are finally able to get back on our feet now. My husband got a better job and we make double what we used to. We are just trying to play catch-up with all the bills we have been unable to pay for years. Oh and we don't have cable and our cell phones are our only phones. We pretty much are at the bare minimum for bills.


Abbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:41pm

"So if I do end up paying them back the 20,000 (which by the way will take me YEARS!!! I have anxiety about this as well because that's a huge amount of money for me)"


That's not how I meant it to come out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 6:13pm
I understand your feelings Abbie.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 6:25pm

Hey Abbie,


First of all a big cyber hug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 11:12pm

**HUgs Abbie**


I've only skimmed thru most of the posts in this thread but I wanted to respond to you.

Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 6:44am

Hey Kelly,


I agree with you about the financial independence thing...and I plan to give to my kids as long as I am able.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 8:37am

Thankyou for your post. I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 7:03pm

Abbie,


I just want to give you a cyber-cheer for your attitude in wanting to pay your parents back.

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