OT - but really upset right now

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
OT - but really upset right now
2
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 10:33pm

I'm sorry, this is really Off Topic, but I don't know who else to talk to about it. I'm on this board so much, it's like my own personal psychiatric help line! I posted an update to my MIL's heart attack in an email to some friends. I added a comment in there that was meant as something funny. I mentioned that maybe they would reduce their oil from a cup to half a cup. They cook with a lot of oil. A good friend of mine...a guy...which is probably why he couldn't understand my sense of humor, wrote back and said that he saw my ASS in line to eat their food so I shouldn't talk and it wasn't like I was Rachel Ray. I was a little angry at that email and I wrote him back with some equally harsh words. Something along the lines of Spanish food wasn't that great. Then he comes back with this email that I was jabbing my MIL while she was down and that I shouldn't have made that comment so close to her coming out of the hospital and I was just floored. He said that I made a Lenox Lewis type Jab and 'kicked her while she was down'! And then he wrote out what I should have said in the email and added at the end 'I'm really glad MIl is OK and I love her a lot"!

I haven't been this pissed in a long time. I wrote back a scathing email...well, this is what I wrote back...and this is a very close friend of ours. We are very open but they make certain comments about me that really drive me insane. Comments about me not working and my husband working many jobs...comments about me saying things about my husband that "throw him under the bus"...I know my husband doesn't feel this way, but they apparently do, so here is my response and I feel bad for writing this and creating more problems but at the same time, I am a very peaceable person that never speaks up for herself. I feel walked on a lot...so here it is and may the pieces fall where they may. At this point, I don't care! Names have been changed to protect those involved :)

"Excuse me! But I just spent all day talking with BIL and SIL about how DH's dad has a blood clot somewhere in his body and half his body is going numb, plus he may have sleep apnea and has to have a sleep study done. And his doctor is prescribing him methamphetamines to keep him up so he doesn't get too exhausted at work because then his diabetes starts acting up. And then on top of that his mom just got out of the hospital so there's been some stress this weekend! What I was saying was not being insensitive, it was meant as some comic relief. But it was also the absolute truth that their diet is killing them and we all...that means us...as a family...talked about how they need to change the way they eat. I'm sorry if my comment about oil was upsetting to you, or thought of as a jab...I am so sick and tired of everything I say about my own family being thought of as 'throwing people under the bus'. I have a different sense of humor. I'm a little more open. I'm just stating the truth. Why don't I just shut my mouth and never say anything again, would that be better? Oh and why don't I just go back to work while I'm at it? Jesus Christ! Don't tell me what I should and should not say because I don't always agree with getting walked on and I'm not always so nice! SH*T! Do you think I'm going to take a comment about me throwing a jab at my mother-in-law and 'kicking her while she's down' nicely? Do I really appear that easy to insult?"

Whoo - I think I got upset! Sorry about the swearing! This is the first time in my life I've ever gotten so riled up and let it show! Usually I just keep it inside, but something snapped today! And he shouldn't have said those things to me at this moment in time. I'll keep you posted on the outcome of this! Could get interesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 11:30pm

What I have found is when there is a sudden emergency or life threatening situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 8:51am
Thanks for the encouragement. He emailed me back and said that me going back to work was humorous which was enough to send me over the edge. So I told him he had gone too far and then it turns out that he hadn't meant to make me mad, that he had thought we were joking back and forth which I guess is the hazard of emailing, but I don't understand how telling me that I had made jabs at my mother in law's expense and kicked her while she was down would have been thought of as joking. I'm not sure how to respond yet so I'm not responding. Unfortunately, I have to see this person next Saturday so we'll see what happens.