We're making good money but...
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| Sun, 01-25-2009 - 2:46pm |
We're more broke than ever. DH and I were discussing this today and trying to figure out how we got here. I think there are 3 reasons:
1. We have 3 kids. They're all in diapers (and there's a fair chance that my almost 6 year old will always wear them). The cheapest place for us to buy diapers is BJ's If they all run out of diapers at the same time, we could easily spend over $100 just in diapers in a trip. My 3 1/2 year old is perfectly capable of potty training, but she's incredibly stubborn and doesn't want to do it. I've started playing hardball with her and I'm seriously considering not even letting her have a diaper for overnight, since I know she can stay dry all night. I have a feeling that it's going to have to be all or nothing and if she knows she'll get a diaper at night she'll hold it until then. She was actually peeing in the toilet consistently for a year and a few months ago she decided she wasn't going to do it and we finally gave up and put her back in diapers. This week my older DD is off school on Tuesday and Wednesday so we're going to take another stab at PT-ing her. I'm still not sure she's ready, but we won't know if we don't try. If we can get one or two out of diapers that will save us a lot of money.
2. It seems like everything is getting more expensive, especially groceries, and DH's commute is a lot farther, so we're spending more on gas.
3. We have two car payments. We went for a long time with no car payments, but we needed to replace both of our cars about a year apart and we have payments on both. One will be paid off in October. The other one will be paid off next September.
4. We have a lot of other debt. Some of it is from things like medical expenses, but some of it is just from carelessness.
I think it also seems worse because we got used to living beyond our means and now we're trying to reign it and not just live within our means, but live below our means so we can get rid of this debt. We're planning to move closer to where DH works, but I don't really see how that can happen since we have no money to do some of the work that will need to be done just to sell the house. We still have enough equity that selling our house should allow us to pay off all of our debt and have a decent down payment, but if we can't sell our house there's not much we can do, except slowly chip away at it.






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Welcome to the world of slowly eating away the debt. That is how I have to do it and I think most on the board do it in little amounts at a time. There have been times when if I was lucky I had 5.00 left on a pay week to send
I am new to the debt stuff (just figuring it all out) but not new to saving money.
I agree with the pp about cloth diapers, although for an almost 6-year-old I'd prefer not to. Is there a medical condition that your oldest can't be potty-trained? If so, I wonder if medicaid or something can help cover the cost of that.
I'm also wondering about the kids' teachers. Not sure if your 3 year old is in preschool, but often preschool teachers are very good at making personal care a priority. I don't even think I should have to say anything about the 6 year old's teachers (unless this is just a night-time thing?).
Dee
Hey...I haven't read any of the other posts, but I wanted to add my info on diapers and potty training. I'm in the same boat as you...I have 3 kids and sometimes feel overwhelmed about the price of things. I had trouble potty training my second child. He was stubborn and hated it and cried and wouldn't go near the toilet. When I got pregnant with #3, I told myself "I will not have 2 kids in diapers!" I knew I just couldn't afford it so I went to the bookstore and bought this book someone told me about called "Potty train in a day". I was skeptical. How can you potty train in a day when I had been trying for months? I read the book and decided to give it a try and it did work. There were a few accidents but I followed the protocol in the book for accidents and within a week he was trained. He was 3 3/4's at the time, but the book says that you can start at 18 months. Also - I did cloth diapers with #3. I only did them for 8 months because the real poop got a little gross compared with the breastfeeding poops, but I'm really considering starting it up again when DS is about 2, when I know his schedule and can avoid the poop situation. I've heard that cloth diapers will make your child potty train incredibly fast because of the feeling of being wet. If you wanted to do it for that purpose with your older child, you'd only need to spend about 25 dollars at the most for the supplies. And you could give them the feeling of being wet and uncomfortable without them peeing all over their clothes and having to change them 10 times a day!
If you want more info on the cloth situation because I know how intimidating it is or the ideas in the potty training book, let me know.
Ugh - I got one in diapers and I feel your pain. Just wanted to throw my two cents in (as if you didn't have enough with everyone else's posts) but I think your 6 year old is now just retorting to habit. If you think about it - s/he has been in diapers longer in his/her life then without them. It's a comfort/normal thing. Once you push the undies they balk b/c its not their "norm."
This needs to become a non-issue. TELL them they are done. I am not overly concerned with nighttime diapers. It's hard to "teach" them to not pee at night when its such an instinctual thing. I would let that part go for now. It's the daytime stuff I'd get stern about. Be firm and you can do it! OR, just stop buying the kid diapers. If they aren't there - they won't have a choice. Undies or bust! Keep us posted on your progress.
Debt is a process. It won't get better in one day but in a month from now you will see steps towards things getting better, etc. xoxo
Thanks for all the responses. Here's some more information to clarify things...
First of all, my 6 year old has special needs, so we don't know if she's capable of potty training. She's off school tomorrow and Wednesday so we're going to take another stab at it. We haven't tried in a long time, but the last attempt was such a horrible failure that we've been putting off trying again. She has low muscle tone which affects all of her muscles and makes just sitting on the toilet hard for her. She also has sensory integration dysfunction, so we're not sure if she's able to connect the sensation with going to the bathroom. They work on it at school, but have had very little success. We don't qualify for Medicaid, but I think I might have found a source of assistance for diapers for her. She's been to a behavioral psychologist that specializes in kids with special needs, but we didn't have much luck with her method.
We decided this weekend that the 3 year old shouldn't still be in diapers. She's been holding it for long periods of times and is still fighting it, but yesterday I "threw away" (hid in the cabinet where the kitchen trash is) the diapers she still had left and we eventually had some success. She stayed dry all night, but she hasn't gone yet today. I'm not declaring victory yet, but I think we're making progress.
DS is only 10.5 months old so I'm not worried about him still being in diapers and a box of diapers lasts longer for him.
I've seriously considered trying cloth diapers for the girls, but I've looked at the websites that sell them and find it overwhelming because I really don't have any idea what I would need to get started. And even though I know it would be less expensive over time, it's a lot of money to spend up front.
How about buying one pack of cloth at Toys R us and two pair of rubber pants - then also a set of large diaper pins?
I figured with the 6 year old it was a special:) needs issue and not just a potty issue - hugs, just do what is best for her.
And I agree with the 3 year old, tough love (and doesn't even have to be tough)
Hi Amy, I know you from the "DD" board, too. :-) I was going to mention that supposedly there are programs that pay for diapers, and even your insurance might pay too. I'm not quite there yet b/c I guess they do this from age 2.5 on, and ds just turned 2. A mom I know whose son has Down syndrome gets free diapers and wipes.
Believe me, come May I will be signing up!
Have you tried getting the Medicaid waiver for your dd? I know it's different in every state. I was able to get it in Mass even though we don't qualify for SSI or Medicaid.
Good luck!
Kris
Believe me...I know how intimidating cloth diapering is but I just wanted to say that you don't have to spend a lot up front, especially in the beginning when you don't even know if you will like it. I started off going to my local kids consignment and picking up the second hand diapers. I got one of each style and then I tried them out and discovered what I liked best. I personally liked either the regular old flat,prefold diapers which are about 10 dollars for 6 or so (and that's the really expensive kind, organic) and you only need a few waterproof covers which run about 10-15 dollars each. I loved the Bummis covers because they are so cute and so easy, you don't need pins. So if you wanted to try out a system, it would probably only be about 40 dollars to start.
http://www.bummis.com/ Here's the waterproof covers I like and here's a link to the cotton prefolds
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=28&products_id=89
My problem with cloth diapering is due to my child that poops literally 5 times a day. I just couldn't do it! But if I had a child that only pooped once or even twice a day, I absolutely LOVE cloth diapering. I really want to go back to it.
My husband is yelling at me to get off the computer...my second home, he says!
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