DH just asked me about the finances
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DH just asked me about the finances
| Mon, 01-26-2009 - 3:23pm |
And I found myself getting irritated. I want him to be involved in the finances, but instead of him saying "Let's sit down and look at where we are," or something like that, he just started asking me about random bills. "Is this paid, is that paid, when is this due, how much is that...?" I just sucked it up and answered his questions because he usually has no interest and I want to encourage his involvement. I think I should start making him sit down with me at least once each pay period.






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You sound like me. I "him and haw" about my DH being involved but he doesn't get involved in the bills like I want him to. Men can't ever do right, can they? Poor creatures.
My DH does what yours does. "Did you take care of this?" "Pay that?" And it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me to do it.
Just the other day my DH commented about the trip we are taking in April. He goes, "Isn't that saved up for yet?" As if I have been spending whatever money I should be saving on mani's and pedi's. I was so ticked. I told him NO that it hadn't all been saved up for yet. About half and I'm proud of that much. Sometimes they are just in their own world.
Why not just suggest it? "Sure, I'll tell you about this or that - but why don't we make time tomorrow night after dinner to go through the whole budget, and that will put this one bill into perspective?"
I explain things to DH whether he wants to know it or not. It's his JOB to know, for goodness' sake, but he would never ask. On the positive side, it's because he trusts me; on the negative, he wouldn't even know where to begin if I got hit by a bus.
I sat him down and walked him through our budget in December, because I'm anticipating a "tight" 2009. Two weeks later, he blew $1000 on ski equipment without asking me first ($100 for something, no big deal - but $1000??!!). When I saw the bill, I first told him that I would really appreciate it if he returned the equipment; when he didn't, I made a point of joking about it a couple of times, and then I told him firmly that we really CANNOT afford for him to spend money spontaneously anymore. I didn't yell at him, but he got the point. Tonight I am going to sit him down and walk him through the budget AGAIN, and ask him where he thinks money for ski trips is going to come from when everything is already budgeted for.
He is getting the message, though, and so are the kids. Yesterday I took them to the movies, but I told them no snacks during the movie - we would eat at home beforehand. "Whyyyyyyyy?" was their answer, and I told them all that Mom is conserving our money because with the recession, now is not the time to be spending money unnecessarily.
They do all understand, but sometimes we just have to spell it out for them.
Kelly
Good luck,
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
I used to have a sheet that I would do montly (saved in word).
Jennifer
It seems like DH and I do this at least once a month and its frustrating to me because he will only ask when he already knows the answer and didn't like the result, or he has something to complain about, like, why haven't we paid my full child support bill this month yet or why did we only pay $150 on my credit card.
I am lucky in that my husband pays all the household bills out of his check alone.
A couple of months ago I tried getting my husband to do the bills one month. It was all written down for him in a book. But like most men he didn't look in the book So he messed the whole thing up totally Took me two hours to move money around from one checking account to another to get the bills and money in the right place So I just let it go. The other day he said "Well maybe next month I should try again. while you can look over my shoulder. " Yes it would be a good thing really would but I just don't want to spend a ton more hours fixing his mess ups.
As far as a budget goes we don't do a real budget I tried to fix one again in January and I tried and tried but I ran into so many problems I gave up on the deal and went back to the old way of doing things.
I tried to get him to come up with ideas to help me fix the problems but he kind of blew me off. And so did most of the ladies on the board. So I guess no one knew how to fix the problem.
So maybe next month I will try to let him do the money again. Depends on how I feel at the time.
Mary Ann
Mary Ann -
Please repost your budget issues, maybe we can all help.
I do mine by listing my take home pay at the top, then list all bills and all categories of expenses. I do mine for every two weeks, because I get paid every two weeks, but I forecast as much as 6 months in advance. I do make my savings account a bil to be paid each month too.
You can list a category called spending money, if that is easier than breaking it down harder, but be sure that category will have enough in it for your needs.
I would be happy to chat via email with you about it as well.
Marie
My Dh has looked at our budget uummmm maybe 3 times in the 6 years we've been together.
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