Wife Threatening To Leave!! HELP
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| Mon, 02-09-2009 - 3:55pm |
In the past I have gotten some really good advice from those who this blog but, this time I think I am in big trouble.
All weekend my wife and I have been arguing about cutting up our credit cards. It got so bad that this morning she threatened to leave me if I ever cut up any of her cards. Together we have over THIRTEEN credit cards!!
Every since we started listen to Dave Ramsey I have wanted to cut up our cards but, my wife insist that we can't afford to do it. Citing that "many people use them in a responsible way to support their finances in the future - that's why we do not need to cut up our cards."
With our priority being to pay off debt and do everything to clear outstanding balances. Why do we need them? What am I doing wrong? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. PLEASE!!!!!
Thank you,
Brian Jefferies
http://over40overweightindebt.blogspot.com/

Ok - deep breathe and relax. (both you and your wife)
How about instead of arguing the logistics of getting rid of the cards you take a more subtle step and do three things:
1. Stop charging on the cards
2. Stop carrying the cards in your wallet / purse
3. Pay down debt on the cards
Maybe if you suggested these three steps first you can show you are serious about debt repayment. Perhaps if the cards are a sense of security for your wife she is balking at the idea of just getting rid of all 13 of them. Perhaps if you can eliminate the balance on 5 ore 6 of them she will see she doesn't NEED them all.
This might be an argument you don't wish to continue. You will know how serious or not she was being about leaving. I would suggest you stop using them, pay them off and THEN discuss getting rid of them.
Good luck - keep us posted.
Can I ask if you have an emergency fund available first?
I to a point agree with both of you guys.
I agree with you. If you can not handle the cards in a responsible way then you should cut some of them up.
I agree with her because if something major happens it is nice to know in a hurry you can get ahold of a large amount of cash even if it is at a high rate.
I paid off all my debt and still have an Amex (which does not roll over the balance to the next month, it is the old-fashioned kind that you pay in full every month) and a Visa for the places that don't take Amex.
At one point I probably had 10 credit cards, I don't remember. When we went on a debt management plan, part of the deal with MMI/CCCS (the DMP provider) was that all of our credit cards and lines of credit had to be put onto the DMP *and* they were effectively closed - we couldn't use them. We were allowed to keep one card out of the DMP, so I kept the Visa card issued by my credit union. And we were allowed to keep our Amex because it has to be paid every month. We were not allowed to take out any more unsecured credit lines, or our DMP would have been canceled.
Having credit cards is very useful. I use mine all the time to make purchases I have already planned to make. I stick with my budget and I don't overspend. I paid off the DMP and I still just have the Amex and Visa. I pay them off every month, just like I did on the DMP.
Changing your attitude toward spending is not an overnight thing. You have to figure out what advice works for *your* life, including your married life. If your wife freaks out over the idea of not having the security of a credit card, then don't ask her to go cold turkey. Put some of the cards in the safe deposit box. Let her see that if she manages without some of them, she can probably manage without most of them. But remember, just because Dave Ramsey suggests you do things his way doesn't mean it's exactly the right way for you.
Do you NEED credit cards to live? Probably not. But do they make life a whole lot easier? They sure do. And yes, responsible people can keep some credit cards. But no one needs 10 of them. Every place in the world takes Visa or Amex.
Kelly
PS I looked at your budget on your blog. All the cards that are in your wifes name will not put food on the table if anything happens to you and she needs to get some cash fast.
I would have her to apply for a real bank card and transfer some of her balances with the high interest into a first time lower balance Because if something happens to you all the real bank cards are gone. She really has no good bank credit in her name alone that every woman should have. Home depot and Staples don't sell food to feed your kids. Then she can cut up some of those department store cards.
As it stands now she is only hurting herself and any credit score she may have. If she doesn't believe you then have her research it off the net.
Mary Ann
Now that is good financial advice.
You ask what you're doing wrong, (if anything), so Im going to respond on that more then whether or not you can live with CCs.
You mention you listened to Dave Ramsey (who's awesome), agreed with his points and want to cut up the credit cards.
Did you WIFE agree with the points?
Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com
I wondered what had happened since you posted about six weeks ago.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus