New and a little awkward

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2009
New and a little awkward
5
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 8:47pm

Hi everyone,
I am new to this kind of thing, but hope this will be a good way to get some support in dealing with our my family's debt problems. Thanks in advance for letting me vent!

I have been married for 17 years and my husband and I have been in debt that entire time and now are probably close to $75,000 in debt (not including home loan). We are stretched to the max and every day is a challenge in "robbing Peter to pay Paul". I am the primary financial manager and my husband is supportive of my attempts to help us get out of debt, but we just tread water from one month to the next. We are soooooo tired of living like this, but don't know how to get our heads above water on our limited incomes, not to mention three kids. Our debt started with medical bills and while we have made some poor decisions with our purchases, the debt is primarily from school loans and trying to pay off other debt! Or using the credit card for groceries and other life-sustaining things. I have always worked at least two jobs, but work in commission sales primarily which for now are really in the tank. My husband's job is OK, but not particularly high paying for the amount of education he has, which can be really discouraging to him at times.

My only hope is knowing that other people have gotten out of debt and so can I. The hardest feeling for me is always feeling deprived and depriving my kids of things because we can't afford much extras for them. On top of that, we live in a fairly affluent area of the country and while I know it is just perception, it feels like everyone is doing so much better than us! For a family of 5, we literally only have about $75.00--$100.00 for groceries and household items each week. Everything else has to go towards paying the bills. I think that others feel like we are really pathetic because we can't do the things that other people can afford to do. Actually I feel really pathetic myself a lot of the time. I guess that's why I am hoping this chat will help me because I feel so alone in dealing with this.

Any thoughts from anyone would be really appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 8:58pm

I understand how you feel, I live in a nice are of town and we have debt.

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 9:23pm

I have a motto, and it took me a while to come to terms with it but I love it now. I live by the rule that if I don't act like we don't have any money, we actually won't soon enough. We have five kids (all planned) and I think people actually expect us to be poor so maybe I don't get the flack as much as I might, but I'm quick to tell folks that we're not going to do something that costs money. I think a lot of people appreciate that we find ways to entertain ourselves -- and the kids -- without spending money. My point in my babbling (LOL) is that I don't consider my frugality a handicap. I think it's about perspective. If you consider yourself an expert at not spending money, then it begins to feel like an accomplishment. I'm willing to bet that you'll be admired for it, as right now even the Jones' are starting to feel the crunch!

When you start feeling like every dollar saved or paid down is a huge victory, you'll feel GOOD about every dollar saved or paid down. Before long, it'll actually be hard to spend it. =c)

Welcome!

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Goal #1 $UCCE$$!

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 7:27am

Don't feel awkward. We are all in the same boat and that is why we post here. When I first woke up to my debt it was overwhelming and scary (about $10,000 of CC when I first started this, right out of university, ugh). Anyways, the way I calmed myself down was to come up with a plan. I started by tracking all spending, and then figuring a way to cut


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 12:56pm

Welcome to the board.


We were about 30,000 in debt to start with an income of around 3000.00 a month. I am not going to paint you a pretty picture of how to get out of debt I am going to tell you the

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 1:34pm

Welcome,

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus