Venting a Little!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
Venting a Little!
6
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 1:34pm

So okay hubby needs to go somewhere and there isn't any gas in his car so I tell him to take money out of the credit union ATM (which by the way doesn't charge us)and purchase his gas for his trip and also have some money left over for him to eat some lunch. Oh I hate that he does this, especially when he knows that I have money budgeted to the penny most of the time. I go to log on our on line account to check things out and I find that he went to another ATM that charged $3.00 for using it. I know, I know some of you would say big deal it's just $3.00 but it's the principle of the matter. He sometimes acts like I am a Genie and can come up with money so what's the big deal it's just $3.00. Honestly you would think by now he would be on board with us trying to budget our money and do right by it. I posted earlier about not wanting to help him with a business just because of this sort of stuff. I have had to hold on to the Debit card which one is in his name and give it to him because he doesn't follow the budget that he agrees to. I feel like it's kind of a slap in my face, I mean the ATM for the credit union was on his way to where he needed to go. Anyone else out there deal with a spouse who just doesn't seem to be on board. We got into this financial mess because of his poor money management. I do speak up about it more now because I DO NOT want to go backwards. Any sympathy right now would be appreciated!

BTW- I would speak to him about other financial blunders but he was so immature to handle things that we would just argue.

~~Maggie~~

Getting Rid of Debt!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 1:53pm

Maggie:

My DH also used to be this way, until I was able to show him all the wasted money, i.e.: fees, finance charges, etc. If you can do that, it may be helpful. It did take years of showing him, though, and any small feat was a big victory for years. Finally, I think he's pretty well on-board (thank goodness!). He seemed to feel very constrained by being on a budget, but I'm very open about my frugalness and he's beginning to realize that those who don't budget are usually in debt up to their eyeballs. Some where along the line, he figured it out.

You do have my sympathy. I know how frustrating that is.

Dee









iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 4:14pm

Sweetheart


For the last 411/2 years I have been married to your husband's twin brother. I could write a book no three books on my husband and the silly things he has done with ATM machines and Debit and Credit cards and lately bill paying.


Of course I make excuses for mine, He has a bad heart takes a ton of pills and has been brain damaged by the work he

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 4:18pm

Thank you for understanding. I didn't go all commando on my husband or anything, but I did give him a gentle reminder in which he responded that he could have purchased a gallon of gas with what he let go. For me too it has been years and he does know better but he has some really bad habits when it comes to money. I am only grateful that it was $3.00 and not $3,000.00. Thank you again for the sympathy, sometimes I don't share this with others and it's good to be able to come here and get some understanding from others. I only hope & pray that he will do better next time.

BTW- I got the Debit card back from him and it is in my possession where it is more safe. Lol!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 4:30pm

Wow, you do know how I feel. My husband finally gave the finances over to me last year around the Spring time and I have been really on top of things since then. I get so frustrated when he goes out and does something like this. He also forgot to tell me our Dental Premium changed a few months ago which caused me to not have enough funds in my savings account(needless to say my bank charged me $25.00 to cover the dental charge). I got that all squared away now and all is okay. I love my husband, but we definitely are opposites when it comes to money. Thank you you the understanding.

~~Maggie~~

"Men you can't live with them, you can't live without them" or can we? Lol!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Tue, 02-17-2009 - 5:23pm

Good for you! I still battle the debit card. It never runs out, ya know?


Dee











iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 9:11am
no my df doesnt do that but it he does whine a lot trying to get fast food when i tell him theres plenty of sandwhich stuff in the kitchen lol. its hard to say no to him sometimes but ive put my foot down lately

 


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