Armpit Chili II:Revenge of the Leftovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Armpit Chili II:Revenge of the Leftovers
10
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 6:58pm

Well, the saga of the Armpit Chili continued today, so I thought I'd share what has happened.


But first, I have to tell you about my neighbour, Glen. Glen has hit rough financial times. He's been unemployed for a number of months and his unemployment insurance ran out in December. (And, since this is a debt message board, he has mentioned to me that he is also carrying a credit card balance of $7,500.) Anyway, for the past few months he's been making a real pest of himself with many of us in the apartment building. He's always knocking on doors looking for milk, or an egg, or a roll of toilet paper, or sugar, or laundry soap. While everybody realizes he's really hurting, he's a rather odd character and there's a lot of talk in the building about how annoying he is getting.


Inadvertently, my daughter may have cured him of his freeloading.


While I was at work today, Glen knocked on our door looking for some bread. My daughter (who is home this week as her new job doesn't start until Friday) told him that she could give him some bread and some chili that I had cooked the night before.


"We have TONS of leftovers", she said enthusiastically as she began to ladle copious amounts of Armpit Chili into a Tupperware container. "In fact, if you want more, just bring the container back and I'll refill it!"


OK, OK, I know what you are thinking ... that offering our innocent neighbour the Armpit Chili was not exactly the most altruistic of acts. But in my daughter's defence, she had assumed that a person who is very poor and hungry would be grateful for a hot bowl of any kind of food. Oh boy. Was she wrong.


Apparently he returned 20 minutes later with a warm container of Armpit Chili, demanding to know why she gave him spoiled food. Yep, even reheated, it filled his apartment with a stench so bad, he didn't even want to taste it.


The two of them discussed my Armpit Chili and decided that, for the good of the Universe, this vile concoction should be flushed down the toilet before it could do any more damage. And for good measure, they ripped up the recipe I had printed.


When I got off the elevator upon returning home from work this evening, I ran into Glen.


"All this time, I've always wondered why you're single", he said. "You're not bad looking, you're nice, you're fun. But it all makes sense now."


Given how strange Glen can be, I just gave him a quizzical look and shut my apartment door. And that's when my daughter told me what had happened.


They say the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but clearly I will have to be a person who takes the road less travelled.



Kate


Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 1:41am

*lol* Thank goodness I had just gone to the bathroom before I read this post! *rofl* otherwise, I'd be mopping up a mess *lol*


Kate, you can always do what I did while I "refine" my cooking skills! -- Find a man who is an excellent cook! My Dh can cook so wonderfully I never ask to go to a restraurant these days, I just look at him and say "I want.... "


Jax


*still laughing*

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 9:00am

OMG!

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 1:27pm

OMG I am howling with laughter. For the record Glen sounds like a loser! Is he from Family guy? ahahhahahahaha. Serves him right to give him he chili!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 1:39pm
OMG that was sooo funny!



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 2:54pm
Very funny! I can't believe that a crock-pot recipe could go that wrong!!! What was in that recipe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 4:20pm

Abbie, DON'T ASK!

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Wed, 03-11-2009 - 2:23pm

OMG!

Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Wed, 03-11-2009 - 2:37pm

I was hoping this new post was a sequil to the story!

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


Avatar for fire_bug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-11-2009 - 7:12pm
ROFLMAO!!! I had to go back and find the original post because I just couldn't imagine enjoying a message with that title. Boy, was I wrong! I was laughing so hard I had to read both posts to DH and he cracked up, too. Thanks for sharing!

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babies




Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-1999
Wed, 03-11-2009 - 7:38pm

THANK YOU AGAIN for the BEST LAUGH OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!


Oh, the saga of that chili!!!!


Still LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!