Do your children know of your debt?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2003
Do your children know of your debt?
10
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 12:21pm

No matter the age of your children, have you confided your debt to them?


If so, have you divulged everything or just the basics?



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2006
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 12:43pm

I'll bite. I regularly remind my kids that I am paying back some hefty bills, things are tight, and we need to be frugal in many areas so that we can have other luxuries like cable TV, great Internet service, and a few new pieces of clothing per month.

I didn't like it once when my child told my ex that I wouldn't buy any more clothes one month because I was in debt (her words, not what I said), but hey, it was not far from the truth, and at least they get it that I have other priorities!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 2:10pm

When my daughter was younger (i.e. before she was 20 years old), I did not divulge my debt-load.

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 2:23pm

My children are young. 5 & 2.


I will tell my son that we aren't buying something right now b/c of money and he will sometimes ask why. I explain to him that we pay for things - the house we live in, the clothes he wears, the food on our table, the dog that we own.....etc. I try to teach him that things aren't free but I don't use the word debt or anything around him. He's a kid and need to enjoy that time.


I also don't make it sound like a burden to go to work. I work a night job and he'll tell me he wishes I could be home to read stories ( I only work 2 nights a week ) and I tell him that sometimes mommies go to work and sometimes daddies go to work. My DH is always home when I go to work and vice versa. I want him to know that work is and should be a fun thing even though as adults its never viewed that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 2:41pm

Our kids are teenagers - 15 and 17 and they know things are tight and that I just don't spend willy nilly.




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 3:22pm
I have 3 boys. A 10 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old. Obviously the 5 and 1 year old don't really care what our situation is, but my 10 year old has HUGE ears and he is constantly listening and paying attention, even when we don't think he is. So when DH and I will argue about money or talk about who called today and what we need to pay with next weeks paycheck...YES...he listens and mulls it over. I probably wish he didn't know about all of our financial woes, but it is really hard to not talk about our finances when they control so much of our lives. On the up side though, we have had some great opportunities to talk to him about money. He asked us how we could owe money to a bank and we discussed how a credit card works and where the money comes from and what interest is. He was super confused so we had to put it in simpler terms. "If mommy lent you 5 dollars and charged you interest on that 5 dollars and then next week you couldn't pay it back, then the following week, you would owe mommy 6 dollars in stead of 5...etc" That seemed to clear things up. But it was really interesting how he couldn't understand the concept of a bank lending us money. Then he wondered how debit cards worked versus credit cards. So even though I wish we didn't have to burden our children with our constant worries about money, I truly hope that our experiences will at least teach them something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 4:42pm

Yes, he's 27, lives next door, we share EVERTHING!


Norma

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 8:24am

Our son Connor, 15, knows our debt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2005
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 12:36pm
My kids are still young (9 and 2) so they don't know about our debt.
Wedding
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 3:41pm

We have divulged everything. It really helps in making budgetary decisions with the kids on board. They realize the importance of budgeting and that no matter how much people make, they can always live beyond their means. We watch a lot of documentaries on credit card companies and debt and so on, too. We use it as an educational opportunity as well as creating unity in decision making. DH and I both had parents where money was a big mystery and it didn't serve us very well at all. We're trying a much difference tactic with our kids.

Dee









iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 7:34pm

My parents were always very open and honest with me about everything, financial matters included.