Coming to terms with IT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Coming to terms with IT.
17
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 12:47pm

I have been thinking about debt and the things I want in my life and I have come to terms with something. I will ALWAYS be in debt. I want a house & we need two newer cars. I can try the first car without debt but I doubt that will happen. Then we need to save for a down payment on a house and that will lead to more debt. And all this will happen in the next 10 years. I refuse to go with an old beater car because we live in the country and I don't want to risk breaking down anywhere on my own or with my kids.

So Debt, debt, debt. Unless there is a significant windfall in my near future(and that is not likely)......I am doomed to debt until I am in my retirement years. Even if I throw every red cent at this debt, which I wouldn't because I need to save for retirement and help with kids education, I don't think I could topple it for years, like 25 years.

I guess on the brighter side it would be secured debt, I still hate it.

Anyway. Depressed today. Hope to have my unsecured debt paid off in one year.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2009
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 10:26pm

Perhaps our opinions are very much influenced by our personal experience. I have a bachelor's degree and a graduate degree, without those I would never be where I am today. When I got divorced, I had to pay him off (it was worth every single penny), but still managed relatively well financially. The only debt I have is a mortgage equivalent to 1.5 times my gross annual income (even in this housing market, it is worth more than I owe) and a student loan I plan to pay off in the next five years. I have a relatively stable job, and am putting 20% of my gross income in savings. Aside from that, also have an "efund" a little over $5,000, and plan to bump it up to $10,000 by the end of this year.

Oh, I know this sounds like a girl thing to say, but I could never be a plumber! ;-) A carpenter, maybe.




Edited 3/18/2009 10:28 pm ET by marie_1229
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 1:26am

I have to confess, I turned

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 9:29am

Can I put my two cents worth in?

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2009
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 9:51am

"Agreed, it may earn him respect without proving it, as well as a way to initial open a door. But it's what he does with that knowledge after he's inside that counts. Many self-motivated individuals have gone just as far or further without a degree".

You are 100% right about that, it is just certain professions absolutely require formal education. You cannot be a "self-motivated" physician, veterinarian, engineer, nurse, etc.

And there is a distinction between training and education. Sometimes education has nothing to do with earning potential, but being in an open environment, somewhat carefree, and just learning about things and exchanging ideas with other young and not so young people that one would normally never meet because they are from a different geographic/social/economic stratum, is priceless.

OK, I am going shut-up for now.




Edited 3/19/2009 10:00 am ET by marie_1229
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 10:08am
Agreed.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 10:58am

GL, this illness must be going around and I don't want to hijack your post, so I will do my own vent on another thread.


Huggssssssssssssss from someone who totally understands!


-Marie




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:34am

I think most of us are at the same place and I agree with the PP who said that they just try not to think about it. I'm almost out of unsecured debt, but I still owe 148 on my mortgage and I can't sell this place for what I bought it for so I would lose 15,000 dollars of cold hard cash that I put into this place if I tried to sell it! BOo HOO! It makes me think that the people who got the no down payment mortgages got the better deal. At least they aren't losing anything...well, maybe not since their houses aren't worth what they paid! I owe my dad 10,000 dollars and my mom 10,000 dollars and when I try to think about how long it will take me to pay them back, I get a little sick! We also truly need a bigger place. We live with 3 kids in an 800 square foot apartment with no yard and no way to get outside unless we make an outing of it and go to the park. This really makes me feel guilty because I have a 10 year old and sometimes I think that by the time we get a house with a hard, he'll probably be 15! As soon as we're out of debt, we need to start working on another downpayment for our next house since we won't get our downpayment back from this place! ALSO - Our cars are definitely junkers. Both of them are almost at 200 thousand miles and we'll be keeping them until they die! I need a mini van so bad I could cry. Everytime I put all 3 of my kids in the back of a toyota corolla and see them all squished and think of how unsafe it would be if we got into an accident! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - I really try hard not to think about any of this stuff and we take it a day at a time. I have my debt split up into sections. I'm almost done with my credit card debts. Then when that's done, I'm going to focus on my dad and working on that downpayment and when my dad is done, I'm going to focus on my mom and we'll see how long our cars can keep running.

I got an email today and it was one of those religious ones. It was a list of things to do during the day. The first one was to decide to be happy each day and the verse that went with it was...This is the day the lord has made and I will be glad in it! I struggle with this. Really struggle with depression and feeling down so I'm going to try to do small things for myself each day and try to be happy even though my debt looms over me and seems impossible to conquer. And we can also feel better knowing that there are so many people in our same position and many people that are in worse positions!

I hope you have a better day soon!

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