need advice with son and husband.
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need advice with son and husband.
| Fri, 03-20-2009 - 8:42am |
Most of you guys on the board are a lot younger then I am. So I have a question for all of you all.
If you were the only child and you had a parent that could not handle their money in the correct fashine. How would you go about helping them to


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I took care of my aunts financial affairs for her.
Every Friday night, "the sweetest Mother-In-Law on earth" has supper fixed for the whole family.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
If I mother needed help, I would help her. But it would be extremely trying to do so. My mom has a dependant, needy personality, and if you give her an inch, she takes a mile.
Growing up she was not well. After my parents separated my mom went into a deep depression and was on disability. I was the one
Bex -
I see your point.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
I hope my post didn't come across evil, lol.
Bex -
It would be hard for me but I believe NOT for husband. You see it would his parents we would be helping out, my parents are deceased at age 47 and 66.
I have been married for 21 years and his parents have been a real problem in my marriage. We live 30 minutes away from them and it isn't far enough. Please don't get me wrong, I do care for them very much, but my husband has had this sort of "love hate" relationship with them all his life. It has put a real strain on our marriage. We visit them 1x a month for dinner in their environment and it works out great. We also have family gatherings and such for the holidays and it is working out.
My in-laws are VERY independent and think they really know everything. You can't help them with anything unless they want it. Now my MIL is very controlling and believes that one day ALL of us will be living with them in their old age(or at least that is what she is hoping). They would NEVER live with me because MIL is the perfect housekeeper and she has stated she can't function in a small house or an untidy house. Oh well, count me out(actually I am really fine with this one).
Hubby says they are getting old, they are 66 and 69. My FIL is NOT retired yet because he has to pay for my MIL luxuries in life(some being their home and STUFF). I told him to visit them, we go over there and help them with whatever they need and have actually been putting some money aside for them if and when his dad needs it(He is a auto body man and sometimes work is slow)
I CAN'T and WILL NOT EVER live with them or live close to them because I couldn't take it. I live with my hubby and I KNOW what they produced. Yes, I am an adult and DO NOT WANT nor NEED their advice but am truly willing to help them in anyway I can.
Sorry so long, venting a little I guess! :)
"The borrower is SLAVE to the lender" - Dave Ramsey
Let me start this by saying I LOVE my mother and she is my hero in life.
That being said - in looking at MY mom and her life if she needed help in a physical way - I would step in without question.
If she wanted me to manage her financial affairs as an elderly person - I would pitch in and help if I could but I would probably have issues w/things. MY mom (again - I love her) is an impulse buyer. She has shipments of crap from QVC showing up at her door every day. Every day. She buys new exercise equiptment she never uses. She stockpiles pasta, soda pop, etc. etc. etc. She then complains she has no money and works her butt off OT to make extra.
If I had to step in and help her financially I would very much have to step in and tell her how to run her finances. She blows money on crap that is unnecessary and that's why I'd have issue w/her asking for help when she's older (she is in her 50's now.....) because I would LOVE to help her now but don't feel its my place as a 31 year old to tell my mom what to spend money on.
I did the financial investing for my Ex FIL, and he did make money from everything I set him up with.
Dh's grandmother is in an assisted living home and the family does all her finances.
No, you didn't come across as evil, you came across as LEVEL HEADED, as usual.
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
Well, MY parents recently moved to Florida... they now live about 2 miles away from my father's parents, and are caring for them... not with finances so much as things like yard work & just emotional support.
Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com
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