So tonight is the night...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
So tonight is the night...
8
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 2:27pm

I come out of the debt closet to my husband about our $43K in CC debt. At this point, I am ready as I will ever be though I am terrified I will fall apart in the end. I did write or rather type out a letter (3 typed pages) Sunday into Monday to organize my thoughts. It got whiney in the end so hopefully I will avoid that and the crying.

He actually has plans to go to a comedy show tonight which will give me time to get the kids to bed (hopefully) well before he gets home so we can have a pretty direct conversation.

I want to print out my Excel budget sheets and also our annual credit card summary from last year to show how we've (or I have) cut spending. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to the one from 2007 which would have been a good comparison.

And there is some really good news. A new six month freelance job came through out of the blue this week which will add a considerable amount of money without a terrible amount of extra work monthly. I also found out, to my shock, that we are getting a very large tax refund. This is key because we have been paying down a tax debt from 2006 to the tune of $850 a month since we filed that year's return in April 2007 which we will now virtually pay off.

Anyway, please wish me luck and send some prayers my way. I am going to blindside the poor guy which makes me feel awful but it is better he hear this from me than in some other way. Deep breath. I am going to go to church in a few minutes, light a candle, and say a prayer that St. Jude will look out for us.

I just hope I don't blow this, and that he will listen and really hear what I have to say.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 2:42pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))


You will be ok. You can do this. You are strong. You have realized the error of this and are determined and strong enough to fix this.


Be prepared he won't be 100% open and wanting to talk this ALLLLLLLLLLLL out tonight. Follow his lead. If he hears you and wants time alone - give it to him. If he wants to talk it out - let him. If he wants to yell..........decide if you can handle that or not. You are going to put a shock into his system so be prepared he might react a variety of different ways.


You have had time to cope w/the

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 3:22pm

Good luck.

It might be a couple of rough days but I hope some good will come out of this. Mainly I hope you get some help from your husband with the finances, but think of the stress you will get rid of from hiding this? You will be stronger at the end of this no matter what happens.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 3:57pm

Good luck, it may make you closer in the end as a couple, if you can get through tonight.


You might consider changing your withholding so you get more money each pay, since you got such a large tax refund.




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 8:14am

Just wanted to ask how it went.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 8:57am

I do hope everything went OK.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 9:21am
I hope it went OK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2009
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 10:02am

Just thinking of you today and praying that all went well with you and your husband. You are in my thoughts today.

~~Maggie~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 2:23pm

Hi Time,

Hope everything went ok, we are all thinking of you. I went to a fair this weekend and I totally thought of you at least twice. Hugs!