How Do I sleep at night?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
How Do I sleep at night?
26
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 8:57am

Hi all. I came out with my story a week or so ago and I appreciate all your support and suggestions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 9:39am
If the credit card companies raise your interest or changes anything you have the option to opt out , that means you keep your old interest rates and payments till you pay it off, you can never use the card because that will cause the new rates or changes to come in affect. Our cards have been changing interest rates and we have been opting out, the one thing it has helped us with is we don't use them again, which is what we're striving to do, I cut them up so there is no way I can use them again, I can't listen to the little voices saying here I am use me LOL Hope this helps



[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/w9REIyy/] [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w9REIyy/debt.png[/img] [/url]
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 10:23am

I would suggest to stop watching news shows!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 10:40am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 10:56am

Remember that many more people have jobs, than those who do not.




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:01am
They will send you a letter or sometimes put it on the back of the bill, read everything that you get in the mail, they try to sneak it by sometimes also if you get you bill electronically you might not get the notice, keep an eye on the interest rates on your bills if they do raise them you can call them and opt out , I've done that and had success in it , it hasn't hit our score in fact since we've been opting out our score has raised a little



[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/w9REIyy/] [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w9REIyy/debt.png[/img] [/url]
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:13am

maxie,


Hugs to you. I know how heartbreaking this is and please don't think I am being harsh - I am here to support you and be honest.


You are still having trouble sleeping and having such harsh reactions (crying, upset) because you are still being dishonest about how much debt you are carrying. Your DH needs to know. If he knows about $40K then just lay it on the line and tell him its worse then he thinks. You two can't approach this unless you do it honestly. Depending on your incomes you might be able to pull this out - but you both need to know how much is actually there.


I am not being mean - I have hidden debt from my DH so I know 100% how you feel. It is terrible, embarassing, demeaning, hurtful and saddening. Depressing...etc. I can go on and on.


You need to come out and lay it on the line. Maybe then you two will be on board together and have a chance to figure out where to start fixing all this.


You can do it ! We are all here to support you !

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:19am

I think my body is now immune to the Excedrin PM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:26am
Thanks, beeps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:39am

I agree about being honest about the total figure. You could say it is worse than your originally thought as you got looking into it and list a, b, c. You will feel better. Then you can sit down together and come up with a plan.

Do you have an efund set up? I know that helps me sleep and I struggle with it all time. Also, I have found that listening to success stories helps and motivates me. Bubble baths have often been a winner.

How about thinking about the debt in smaller chunks. One card/debt at a time that you target to pay down while making minimums on the others. Smaller chunks might make it more manageable in your mind?

I struggle with the balance act. On the bad days I think about all the good things I do have. A great bf, good friends, healthy kids, a JOB! LOL!

Take a step back and re evaluate your goals. Make happiness one of them, it is very important.

Good luck.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:56am

Hugs Maxie!


I said the same thing you said. I was gonna tell DH after I got it a few thousand down. I can only imagine how upsetting this is for you.


You are right - My dh wondered where his money went too. When we were shelling out $800 plus in c/c minimums per month PLUS the bills plus the mortgage the money was gone in a flash.


Quit looking behind you. You can ponder day and night what you spent $75K on. Who cares anymore. Focus on working to pay off those cards and pay off whatever you bought. Major lesson learned. Looking back isn't going to get you anywhere.

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