Friends??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
Friends??
12
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:11am

Hi there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:21am

You know what's ironic? You might "think" they have the money to do these things. And they might "think" YOU have the money when in actuality neither of you actually DO have the money.


Say they do have the money. You don't owe them (or anyone) an explaination. Or just say, "we are cutting costs right now due to the issues in the economy. can't hurt to live more frugally." If they argue w/you about it - they aren't true friends.


True friends will come and sit in your yard and share a wine cooler on a warm summer day. True friends will listen and understand when you have $1 to your name. True friends will offer to split the cost of a BBQ and be content with hamburgers and hot dogs.


You are a good person who wants to be a good friend. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Let them surprsie you. THey might turn out to enjoy more low key "dates" with you guys.


If they press you to do things - let the phone ring and don't answer it for a while. :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:32am

Timing is on your side!


Frugality is the new cool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:33am

They did just pressure us to go on a vacation with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:50am

maxie,


Sounds like you need to just let them

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:58am

Thanks, that is what I want to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 12:04pm

You and your DH are NOT the first ones to not enjoy living more frugally. Does your DH think people enjoy living without cable, eating rice 5x a week or living without cell phones? Nope. We all want things - enjoy things. BUT its a time to grow up and deal with it (not trying to sound harsh - just being honest.)


DH will adjust. In time your new frugal lifestyle will become the norm. And trust me, if a friend invited me out and it was $100 everytime I saw them - I wouldn't see them ever. I can't afford stuff like that. I just can't and I won't accept it. In time you and DH will have spend/fun money and if he wants to do stuff with this couple and spend HIS spend money on that then by all means - let him.


Life changes are hard and sometimes suck. That's the truth but its for the best for your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2009
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 12:32pm

Thanks, beeps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 1:51pm

Maxie -


What is wrong with just telling them that with the current economy you have really done some soul searching and want to be a wiser citizen.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 2:13pm

I have a great time and enjoy many friends' company in the backyard or in the driveway with a firepit and fixins for s'mores.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: maxie1968
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 2:37pm

maxie,


Does your DS have a job? I'm not saying he needs to go out and get one - but now might be a good time to teach him about some financial responsibility. If he is "accustomed" or expects to do things all summer that include renting a condo you can no longer afford then maybe now is the time to sit him down and explain to him that you USED to do those things and they are no longer in the budget. There was a time that you allowed the family to overindulge - those times are over. I don't have teenagers yet (I have two small children) but I know AS a teen - he will grumble and whine and say life is no fair.


Whatever. He will survive. You have food, shelter and each other. Now is the time to teach him those are the things he needs. Sounds cheesy but its true. If he continues to learn its ok to overindulge he will have a hard time when he's on his own and he will be more likely to end up in the c/c trap himself. Buying what he wants now and paying for it for a looooooooooooong time to come.


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