Separate finances? Why or why not?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Separate finances? Why or why not?
18
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 3:50pm

I'm just wondering how many of you who are married keep separate finances. I see it mentioned from time to time and curiosity has gotten the better of me.

DH and I combine everything. We each have a couple of accounts in our own names for common-sense protection and for the "what ifs" in life, but we've never come close to splitting the money. Of course, we do NOT use credit cards. (On the rare occasion, it's paid off before the ink is dry on the receipt). I'm wondering if those of you who separate finances do it because of different spending habits (one I can easily understand, after hearing what some of my friends say about their hubbies and money) or for another reason entirely. I'm NOT criticizing the decision to separate at ALL, nor am I suggesting there has to be a negative reason behind it. I'm just wondering what brought the idea around for those of you who do it.

Thanks to anyone willing to share! It'll be interesting to hear different perspectives.

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Sarah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 4:03pm

We've always had everything together and more than likely always will.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 4:22pm

DH and I joined finances right when we got married. Our bills were all in our name so it made sense for us that our finances were merged. So far it has worked out fine for us and I wouldn't want it any other way.


DH makes more than I do so I am not sure how we would have divided the bills but that seemed more confusing then pooling our money together and writing bills from the total amount.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 4:38pm

I'm not married so perhaps my mindset would be different (I think not though, lol). My boyfriend and I just moved in together but for the time being he is just paying rent (my sister is still living with us so I don't think its fair to ask him to split the bills). We've already discussed it and decided that when the time comes to split bills we are each going to contribute equal percentages of our paychecks. In that will also be savings. BF has already told


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2005
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 5:23pm
We have separate finances.
Wedding
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-1999
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 6:05pm

We have separate checking accounts, my paycheck goes into mine & his check goes into his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 7:04pm
We have separate finances. We have been married for about 10 years. We make about the same amount of money and each are responsible for certain bills. When we make big purchases, we each contribute half. We both save for RRSPs, and ER funds. DH saves for girls' education. We agree on our goals, but don't always agree how to get there. I tend to micro manage the finances, and DH is a little bit more laxed. If I we combined our finances I would question everything her purchased, and we would argue a lot. But, by agreeing to goals in terms of savings we get to where we want to be, with no arguing. Also, we disagree on the mortgage and the car payments. DH is okay with having to take out a loan to purchase a car. I on the other hand am determined that once I get this car paid off I will never have another car payment. But, it's not worth arguing over. Likewise, I have set a goal to get the mortgage paid off faster, but he really does not care about that. Therefore, I am the one making the extra payments on the mortgage. I think he will be thankful in 5 years!
We were talking today and we agree that it seems that we are not saving up for the extra stuff as fast as we would like to (eg furniture for our living room). But, it's okay because it is just extra, and we are not increasing our debt load.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2005
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 8:22pm

We have my accounts, his accounts, and our accounts.

Jennifer


 


Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 9:49pm

We don't have separate finances, but there are plenty of days I wish we did. The only thing we do keep separate is I have one account from my single days that DD's child support money goes into and I use that money soley for things for her, it used to go all towards her competitive gymnastics fees, but now it goes towards things like clothing, medical fees, camp fees, cheerleading, etc. and I am having a small amount automatically taken out for her college fund. And since that account is in Michigan where my parents are, there are times my mom will deposit money in there if she wants to get something for the girls and will just have me get it instead of spending the money on shipping costs.

And then DH has one money market account where all his disability payments and GI bill payments from the military goes and that money is his to use, but most of it goes either to pay the credit card when he will charge his tuition and books because we have decided to not take out any student loans and pay off the cc as soon as the money gets deposited into his account, and his disability payments eventually after we get completely debt free minus the mortgage will go towards retirement for him, life insurance and long term disability insurance. Its just easier to keep that money separate for right now, and he still has money issues left over from his first marriage where his ex ran up a bunch of credit cards behind his back before their divorce. So its sort of like a safety thing for him, so I just leave it alone, I know how much is in there and where it all gets spent, so it really doesn't bother me.

Everything else for us is completely joint.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 10:13pm

When we first got married If I can remember back that far. Seems I had a checking account in my name for a while when I worked. The account was left over from when I was single. But that didn't last long maybe 6 months or a year got to hard to manage.


Since then until recently the checking account has always been

Avatar for earnhardt_jr_fan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 10:23pm

We've always had combined finances. I guess I feel like having seperate finances COULD lead to debt being hidden. We've been through so much with each other financially that I can't imagine having everything seperate.


Now, I don't look down on people who choose to keep their money seperate - the choice to keep ours as one is a personal one and I can't imagine it any other way.

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