Separate finances? Why or why not?

Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Separate finances? Why or why not?
18
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 3:50pm

I'm just wondering how many of you who are married keep separate finances. I see it mentioned from time to time and curiosity has gotten the better of me.

DH and I combine everything. We each have a couple of accounts in our own names for common-sense protection and for the "what ifs" in life, but we've never come close to splitting the money. Of course, we do NOT use credit cards. (On the rare occasion, it's paid off before the ink is dry on the receipt). I'm wondering if those of you who separate finances do it because of different spending habits (one I can easily understand, after hearing what some of my friends say about their hubbies and money) or for another reason entirely. I'm NOT criticizing the decision to separate at ALL, nor am I suggesting there has to be a negative reason behind it. I'm just wondering what brought the idea around for those of you who do it.

Thanks to anyone willing to share! It'll be interesting to hear different perspectives.

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Sarah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 1:26am

We have a joint account and accounts in my name only.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 7:14am

When dh and I got married it just made sense to marry our finances as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:26pm

We have had joint finances since a month before we married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 1:07pm

For the most part, we combine our income.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 2:54pm

Yes I think the second relationships seem to be a bit more separate don't they? I might be able to shed some light on this:

When you enter into another relationship you have baggage!(and it would be rare I would think to have two people making the same exact amount of money in their perspective jobs). It might be good baggage(investments) or it might be bad baggage(debt)! My bf and I have a savings and checking account together. We both each have the same on our own. Plus he has student loans and I have my personal credit line aka baggage. We are both working hard to clear up our debts. He owns vehicles and property, I own a store. Until the debts are clear we each deposit a predetermined amount into our checking to pay for household bills and the mortgage and everything else you would expect to pay for that is on a budget or spending plan(ex food, house insurance, car insurance, savings etc). The balance of our checks we put in our own accounts to make payments on our debts and for spending money.

I truly feel once my personal debt is gone I am free and can start over. Even though I am sort of already doing that having a mortgage and savings with another person. I was just not willing to put life on hold until the whole thing was paid off. But boy do I have plans when it is paid off.

Once all of our debts are paid, I don't see why we wouldn't combine everything. By that time, we will both be comfortable with each other and our financial ways. I have been burnt before with an ex-husband that loved(probably still does)to spend money. I will never let my future, or the future of my children be jepordized(sp?) that way again in my life. And when the time comes where we combine it all, we will each still have our own separate blow money that can be spent with no questions asked. I can't wait to start saving for a car(already started) and a house next year! I am so excited about my new life!



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 11:07am

Great topic, Sarah!


We didn't join our finances until we married and it is much easier on me to have everything combined.

Avatar for meandmypea
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 9:36pm
We're like you. We do all of the finances jointly, but each one of us do have individual checking accounts, but they're only used for our allowances and/or to put aside money for a present for the other spouse without that person knowing the cost. We don't split money or split bills or anything like that.
Bridget




Bridget
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 2:22pm

I agree with the older and second time around perspective.


We each have our own checkbooks and one for the business.




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