Just need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Just need to vent
6
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 10:55pm

When you've gotten yourself into so much financial trouble, your whole life starts to revolve around money. How much you're making, when is it coming in, who is it going to? Our lives have been like this for so long. We've had 3 straight years of financial hell! I know I'm almost there, but in many ways it still seems so far away. I still need an emergency fund. I still need to save for a house (and eventually lose money on my current condo) and my cars are ready to drop dead. Life has become one big, unhappy search for...money! And we're definitely more unhappy because of it. For one thing, DH's job is just killer! He gets up at 1 in the morning and gets home at about 3:30 in the afternoon at which point I go straight to piano lessons and work until 7. When I get home, DH is in bed. We don't see each other anymore. We work like dogs and I'm afraid our marriage pays the penalty. I don't eat dinner with my family anymore. I get to stay home with the kids during the day, but all those nighttime rituals of homework and 'just hanging out' before bed, well, I miss those. I'm always with other people's kids, wishing I was at home.

I've thought many times of how I can fix this. I make approximately $200 dollars a week doing lessons and that is just too much to give up. We will be officially out of debt to everyone except my parents in August. At this point I've decided to quit going to people's houses for lessons and start exclusively teaching from my church (which is across the street from my house). I think I'll be much happier doing lessons this way as I won't have to waste my valuable time commuting. To my way of thinking, I don't care how much money you pay me to come to your house, my time with my family is more valuable than money. As far as DH's job is concerned. We're just stuck with it. He makes so much more money working this job and we couldn't afford the drop in pay to get him better hours at the moment. Maybe someday.

I just start to get so depressed when I think of all the sacrifices we have had to make in order to feed our addiction to 'things'. All those things we bought, all those vacations we went on, not a single item was worth the pain and suffering of the last 3 years. Now there have been good things to come to our lives because of this debt, but what a way to get there!

Feeling down in the dumps because I never see my husband and I am a slave to money. Every decision I make is based on money and I'm just tired of my whole life revolving around green, useless, pieces of paper. It controls my life!

Now it's very possible that my thyroid is making me feel down in the dumps today. I experience a whole range of emotions at all times! And I'm not asking for any sort of help in figuring out my sad finances. I'm just complaining. I really felt like I needed to do that today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 6:59am

Abby


I know you didn't ask for a reply back. But my toe is killing me and it woke me up so I came in here. Raymond worked for the city. Every 6 months or a year at the most they changed his hours. First it was 3-12, then 12-8 and finally when he got a few years it was 8-4 sometimes but there was always some other guy that had more years in so this didn't happen much. Really that was one of the reasons that I just stopped trying to keep a normal 9-5 job. Most of the first 25 years of our marriage he worked either 3-12 or 12-8

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 7:50am
I just wanted to give you a hug.




Parent of 6th grader

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 10:29am

Hugs to you.


My husband and I work opposite days off and so we never have a day off together. That is tough in itself and I can't imagine not seeing him at night either.


Course, then I took a night job.......LOL. But, its only one to two nights a week so that's not bad.


Either way - it IS hard. But it will change one day. Chin up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 10:38am

Just wanted to give you a hug.


I know you weren't looking for a response but I wanted to let you know I totally understand about the work hours and limited time with you DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 12:07pm

I am very grateful I get to see my BF everyday. Sometimes I work evenings and weekends but only every other weekend unless a staff member is sick.

That being said.......I have paid off 18,500 in debt in one year. I think about all the things I could do with that money and yeah it gets me down sometimes. You just have to keep looking forward. And hey, you are coming to the end. You worked hard!! Take a night and go on date with the hubby. You deserve it!



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sat, 05-16-2009 - 1:19am

I think your decision to give lessons at the near-by church is a great idea, Abbie.