Anxious

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Anxious
8
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 9:08am

Hi, everyone!


I have been so completely overwhelmed the past couple of months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 9:30am

Moving is always so stressful, but from the little you wrote it sounds like you are making a good choice for your daughter (and for the little one you have coming!).


Having the 20% for a downpayment in the bank is a good thing and you will have a full time job (with health benefits?) before the baby is born is also a good thing. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that your husband finds work quickly once he is there.


I know it can be crazy stressful and anxiety producing (my husband and could barely speak to each other when we moved 2 miles up the road into our first home - nothing that we were mad at each other about - we were just SO stressed over boxes, and packing and logistics!) The good news is we laugh about it now.


Most importantly take it one day at a time and take care of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 12:56pm

I wish you all the luck in your move and DH's job search.

Norma


"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 2:11pm

The sad thing is that we are really used to moving. We've done it lots. I am nervous because dh does not have a job lined up...that is BAD NEWS in this economy, but I am praying that something will open up soon. There are some positions out there that he would be perfect for. But moving is LESS stressful than fighting with schools...especially since we will be close to family again.

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 2:18pm

Personally I think renting is the best thing you can do. For one thing TV is saying all the time that gas prices are going up again and soon.


Since your husband doesn't know where he will be working It would be terrible to buy a house like 20 miles or so from his job and yours This way after he gets his new job you will be able to judge where to buy a house better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 2:18pm

LOL. Lots of nesting going on here...probably part of why we are moving in the first place. And as for stress...I don't know. We have money in the bank (not that I want to spend it!!), it is just all of the uncertainty with dh not having a job lined up yet. I have a good feeling about the schools out there. I met with the district for over an hour on Monday. I don't have the best feeling in the world about my future job...I am going to be on the remodeling team!!! (Sure, heavy construction is just what I want to do in my third trimester of pregnancy!!!) Well, we'll see what they do with me when I get there...I did tell them I was 6 months pregnant.

The good thing is that because it is a short term lease, the rent has to be paid in full up front. So I won't have that expense to worry about for three months. It will hurt to write out that first check, though. I wish life would get easier. It never seems like it does, though. At least we will have family around.

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: herege
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 10:04pm

Hi Heather -

I will keep my fingers crossed for you that the move goes as smoothly as possible. I have probably missed your previous posts but can I ask what has been going on with your daughter and the school system where you are? I used to be an elementary school teacher and it sounds like there might have been some less than stellar/less than supportive behavior?

If it is personal I completely understand!

Best of luck.
Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
In reply to: herege
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 8:56am

Michelle,
My daughter, age 10, has autism. The problem with the school district I am in is that the district offers a "cookie cutter" program for all of their kids with special needs. They are mainstreamed for part of the day, with an aide, and given direct instruction for part of the day by an aide or special ed. teacher. It is not always appropriate to mainstream the way the school district does. There were 27 kids in my daughter's regular class this year, and believe me, the fact that she was in there for science when they were learning about surface tension or ecosystems did nothing for her educationally at all, as she does not have the language base to comprehend this kind of subject matter. All of the mainstreaming has been so that the special ed teachers can have a higher case load (18, this year, I think) and it has been to the detriment of learning. My daughter has been at the same level in reading for nearly three years. It is about keeping district cost low. There are no special ed "classes" at all. Anyhow, this is just one of many issues...but I am tired of fighting half-heartedly. It is lawyer time, or time to start over. We haven't wanted to spend the money to hire a lawyer because we have known for awhile that we have no intention of staying here long term.
We are starting over. We will be close to family, and will be in a state that has an autism scholarship so that if things don't work out with the school, we will have options. It is always a bumpy road, though, it seems...

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: herege
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 9:49am

Oh Heather what a struggle that must be. I got my Master's degree in Elementaty Eduaction and Special Ed. While I only taught standard classrooms, I can understnad how frustraing this must be. Classes like art and music and reading make sense to have some mainstreaming (in my opinion) but you are so right about needing specialized classes. With over mainstreaming no one wins, not your daughter, not the other classmates, not the teacher, no one. All for the sake of saving what amounts to not that much money.


I hope this move gives you the new start that you need. On a separate note I am starting this amazing Master's program in the fall - it is a M.Ed. degree in Mind Brain and Learning - I hope to focus on the way we cognitively learn and how autistic children can learn (as they are often categorized as not being able to in many schools) and that they just learn different things and learn ina different manner.


It is so sad that our society wants to shove everything into the cookie cutter mold. By the way do you have your own blog too? I know a Heather in the blog world who has an autisc child. I have to go check out the blog and see if there is anything posted about her moving - maybe you are one in the same!


Best of luck with everything.


Michelle