Secret Savings ;)
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Secret Savings ;)
| Fri, 09-18-2009 - 9:51am |
When I was reading Gals post yesterday, I remember the line "I was secretly hoping to send my kids off to school with the store efund money". It made me smile a bit because I

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I kinda have one...we have our EF in a MM -goal is $10,000 & it is right at $6300.
I have a savings account that I believe my husband has forgotten about. I haven't reminded him because I'm afraid he will blow it. He has changed his ways in terms of spending...but I need it as a sense of security. It is in both of our names, so it's not like I'm stashing it away from him. I just think that he would've spent it 20 times by now if I reminded him. I'm hoping we can use it as a down payment on a house in a few years.
It's funny that you bring this up as it has really been making me feel guilty lately. Things are extremely tight, but we are getting by and I don't want to touch it.
Anyone have any opinions on what I'm doing? Should I feel guilty? I'm almost afraid to get your answers.
Samey I wouldn't feel guilty at all. It isn't like you are taking the family
Bex -
Hahahahahahaahaha, I'm still laughing at this one.
I have so many ideas going around in my head. Yes I would love to take the efund when my credit line recovers and invest it for the kids. It would take me a heck of a lot less time to reach my goal there and then I can start on me next goal sooner LOL!. My bf and I are saving jointly right now for a house but it isn't much per month, kind of in line with your 50 bucks. Once we have his student loans out of the way there will be no stopping us though and we will be able to save a lot in year even. Anyway, after the kids education is dealt with I will continue to save and maybe surprise my bf with all new furniture for our house or a heck of a down payment on a new vehicle. The truth is because that savings goal is a few years away I don't think it is secret because A. I haven't met my previous goals yet and B. I could change my mind 10 million times before that as to what I want to save for. I do know one thing though........It will be for me and bf. Kids will be taken care of!! And of course this is only if as things go as planned. Nothing is set in stone!! Just dreaming really!!
Still laughing..............
"I cannot tell a lie",
Norma
"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble"- Plautus
I didn't think I did, but once I read supersamey's post, I suppose I sort of do.
No secrets here, DH reviews my budget and where every penny goes.
I'd be upset if my husband was hiding money from me, so I don't think I'd do it to him. I have, from time to time, had savings for specific goals that were untouchable, but they were never secret. I guess if I felt the need to lie to him about money I'd see it as the symptom of a bigger issue. If he were a compulsive gambler or drinker I would probably hide money, but again, symptom of a bigger issue.
Don't feel guilty. When I was in undergraduate, I took a women's study course and the professor said that one of the most important things for a woman's good mental health is to have your own money. Money that is yours alone and that you control. You have to have a cushion. Also, a friend told me once that it is very important to have your own "stash" that no one knows about because you never know if your husband will leave you or blow all your joint savings, and then where will you be? You can trust your husband all you want, but with the statistics, marriage can be very risky. I was young then but it stuck in my mind all these years. So, when my husband died leaving me with three young kids two years ago, was I glad I had my own money to rely on for a while because it took a few months to sort out where the money was and the investments, and everything else. And going through probate, courts and lawyers, etc., is very stressful. Imagine how stressful it can be to prove you are entitled to half the estate and in the meantime have small children to take care of???????
My husband was very controlling with money so I had to protect myself and the kids because he was so secretive about where our money way. I didn't feel guilty in the least and still don't. It worked out well in the end, though. I found out that he had put all our assets in both our names. My husband took care of me and the kids after all, but it took awhile to find out and I was spared all that anxiety.
You are just trying to protect yourself and your family. It is totally understandable. Your husband sounds irresponsible so you need to do this, and don't feel badly. If you don't protect some assets, then you might be considered irresponsible for letting him blow through the money in the name of "honesty."
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