Chronic Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Chronic Stress
10
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 6:17pm

I really think I'm suffering from chronic stress. I just get so upset and can't seem to control my feelings once I reach a certain point. Anything will trigger it. Messes, kids yelling. I feel like I need time to myself to just un-wind, de-trigger but I can't seem to find the time to do this. Nobody in my family takes me seriously. I keep on asking them to leave me alone for a little while, or I try to get out of the house on my own. I don't know what is causing me to be so stressed out lately. Our money problems aren't as out of control as they have been in the past. I have the same problems I've always had, nothing has changed.

My house is always a mess and I can't seem to keep up with my kids and husband (I've done the fly-lady system before but can't seem to stick with it)

My weight is always an issue

My 2 year old still does not sleep through the night most of the time, but I can't let him cry it out because my husband has to sleep. We sleep in the same room.

Maybe it's a lack of sleep. I feel exhausted with no energy most of the time. Maybe it's the fact that I've been off my thyroid medication for 5 days now because my doctor hasn't called in the perscription and I haven't called to make them call it in. I guess I'll have to because I am feeling progressively more and more depressed each day this goes on. BLAH!!!!!!

All of us have stress, especially in our situations, how do you deal with your stress?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: abigailnh2
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 6:35pm

Hugs to you.

First of all, you need to MAKE yourself MAKE time for you. Once your DH gets home - GET OUT. Go for a drive - go to the bookstore - go get a coffee - go to the library - GO SOMEWHERE.

Why do you refuse to let your DS cry it out b/c your DH needs to sleep? Don't YOU need sleep too? Making / helping kids sleep through the night is a process that BOTH parents have to help with.

You deserve time too. Call the doctor and get your medication. Proimse to make time for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-1998
In reply to: abigailnh2
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 6:57pm
Lack of sleep can really knock you for a loop. Can your husband or another family member take the kids out for an hour or so just to let you have a bit of a break(read nap) Myself, I like to lay down with a book when I put the little one down for a nap in the afternoon.
But please call your dr to get your prescription, it is important to take care of yourself.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
In reply to: abigailnh2
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 10:42pm

I agree that you have to make time for you. I like to take a long hike on the trails myself. When my daycare child was smaller I'd put him in the stroller. Now that he's 4 he's managing about two miles before he tires.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
In reply to: abigailnh2
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 7:59am

Hi Abbie,


Sorry to hear that you're so stressed.

Kate


empty purse

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
In reply to: abigailnh2
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 9:27am

Dh has a very hard schedule. He gets up at 1am in the morning and has a hard time getting in bed before 7:30, which only gets him 5 1/2 hours of sleep each night. He works 45-50 hour work-weeks and he is a zombie most of the time. He works very very hard and he does this so that I can be home with the kids in the morning and so we can finally get ahead of our debt. If we didn't need the money so badly, I would have him get a different job that wasn't so tough. It's a physical job (delivering milk) and he has aches and pains and is basically completely run down from his schedule, so once he is asleep, I try really hard not to disturb him so he can at least get 5 hours of un-interrupted sleep. I get plenty of sleep really. I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 7. The problem is that with my thyroid condition, my exhaustion level is worse than the average person so 9 hours of sleep, especially when it is interrupted a few times by a 2 year old doesn't feel like enough and I'm still tired. I feel kind of like I'm anemic. Just drained with a lack of energy all the time. The medication definitely has helped though, but I think my stress level makes it worse.

So that's why I try really hard to make sure my toddler doesn't cry-it-out. But I know I need to find some time for myself. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
In reply to: abigailnh2
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 9:34am

Ha! I can see that you do understand my problem. I live in a small apartment and when I have 3 kids running around yelling and a husband that is too tired to do anything but sit on the couch, sometimes I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs to make it stop! It seriously is the noise level that bothers me. If I could have quiet while I cook dinner (on those days that I'm actually home to cook dinner!), I think my stress level would decrease dramatically. Maybe I should put some head-phones in my ear and block things out. Something soothing like Enya! I've also been thinking of giving my husband some ear plugs when he goes to bed so that he can't hear the toddler screaming in his bed.

I always think.."If only I had a bigger house. If only I had a house with a yard and my kids could run off their energy outside. If only this, if only that." But I have to live with what I have and that is a small apartment with no access to the outdoors. A concrete jungle! There are parks within walking distance. Maybe I could have my husband walk them to the park while I cook dinner. I'm sure there's tons of ways I can eliminate my stress. I need to work on that. And I have to get off my lazy butt and call my doctor. What a pain! They were supposed to call in a years supply of this medication, but they never did.

Thanks for the encouragement everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
In reply to: abigailnh2
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 11:23am

(((HUGs)))


I can't even imagine what you are going through. I have three dogs and at times they are enough to send me off the deep end.


I agree with the earplugs! I am thinking that if the 2 year old can't "cry it out" then waking up every night is now a habit. Again, no kids over here, so take any ideas I have in the spirit that they were offered!


GET YOUR MEDS!!! Its amazing how things like that can throw you off track and damper everything else in your life.


Remember, you are doing incredible at the debt reduction! You have an efund AND you've started to tackle your weight issue (yes, I am a ticker snoop!!!). You can do this Abbie!


Bex -


"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift -thats why its called the present."


Bex -

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
In reply to: abigailnh2
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 1:58pm

I don't have even have my kids half the time, and I live in a house with lots of great outdoors. They still drive me up the wall quite often. Tuesday nights my girlfriends get together, cook a a healthy dinner and watch the biggest loser. We have picked the people we like and we bet on it LOL. I have already lost $5 but we only put in 10 and its great entertainment. The point is we make time for ourselves and it is not expensive. When it is my turn to have it at my house the kids better not bug me. They are used to the girls coming over when I do pedicures. I find routine keeps them busy ie homework, drawing and writing stories, making their lunch for the next day, chores etc. They will have to read books that night though because I will be using the TV, or they might be at their dad's. I suppose my kids are older.

Anyway, get a hobby. (Start walking Abby--that is my me time, it is good for you and gets you out and it is free) Coincides with all your goals girl!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: abigailnh2
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 1:58pm

Abbie -


I would go insane in your situation!




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
In reply to: abigailnh2
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 2:19pm
I have to make relieving my stress a priority and maybe getting DH to walk the kids to the park would help. Yesterday was quite stressful! I have relatives coming to visit in 2 weeks and actually stay in my small, cramped, messy apartment. Relatives I haven't seen in years and so I'm frantically trying to figure out a cleaning/fixing timeline so my house will be presentable. So I cleaned during the day, then I had piano lessons (my 30 minute drive becomes my relaxation), then I headed over to wal-mart to grab some cleaning supplies (remember, I have no car so I couldn't do any errands during the day while DH was at work). Then I went to choir rehearsal and got home at 8:30. The kids were on the couch watching cartoons and DH was asleep. I put the kids to bed and then vegged out on the couch watching recorded shows for a few hours. Today is actually going to be a similar day. I probably won't get home until 8:00 and I need a few more things at the store. DH will have to cook dinner and hopefully clean up after it. He usually does a pretty good job. I just keep telling myself that this is a short period in my life. Someday soon, my schedule and his will be better. Many people have worse schedules than we do with 2 jobs or maybe no job at all. My mom always tells me to count my blessings. Sometimes that is hard...like now, when I'm looking at my 2 year old and he's writing on my piano with pen! HA!