Changing my attitude
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| Sat, 09-26-2009 - 9:35am |
Hi everyone!
I've been on this board before, asking about how to pay down debt, but it's hard. I think I'm doing a little better, but it seems that I really have no idea where my money goes. My husband is totally frustrated---he can't believe anyone could have no idea, but sadly, it's true. I have no hobbies, and it just seems that money slips through my hands. For a few days or weeks, I try to write down everything that I spend, but then I gradually forget. So, I have two questions.
1. How do I rid myself of the overwhelming guilt that I feel? It seems that once the guilt recedes, so do my good intentions. I am so upset at myself right now, I don't know what to do!!! This has been a rough year for me, and I feel awful about myself so much of the time. I don't want to feel like this, but I feel like a total screw up. I think I have an addictive personality---I overdo it on spending, sweets, etc. I know that alcoholism runs in my family, and I don't drink. But I do see that addictive streak running throughout my life. How do I put the guilt aside, and begin to live a more purposeful life?
2. Is there a way to stop impulse spending, and keep track of my savings that is effective and not too time consuming? As I said, I try to keep track of my spending, but after a little while, it becomes time consuming, and I stop. Is it really possible to be so stupid that you have no idea where your money goes? How do you get a handle on this?
Help!!
Penny

Hugs Penny.
I deal with guilt about money all the time so I can't help you with that one. But, try to remember - it doesn't pay to look in the past and worry about what you should have done. Just try to move forward and make the best of what's happening NOW then what happened yesterday.
As for tracking spending - well, here's the thing. You can do it one of two ways. You can use a cash system - put cash in envelopes for certain expenses - one envelope with $40 for gas (or whatever amount you allot yourself given your driving times to and from places) and $30 with "blow" money for what you wish. When you USE the cash - put the receipt for that item IN the envelope. If you wonder where your money went - check the envelopes for the receipts and you will see.
OR, you can use your debit card for everything. I would save all receipts for a day or a week (a day would be easier and faster to enter) but then daily (or weekly) you need to MAKE YOURSELF sit down and write in a journal/notebook where you spent your $$ and on what. If you do it daily - it honestly shouldn't take you more than 5 minutes unless you went on a major spending bendor. It's just like entering stuff in a checkbook.
If you'd like - post your budget here - the women on this board are great about helping people plug budget leaks.
Might be as simple as a daily cup of coffee or eating out at lunch too much that is cutting into your budget.
Don't be so hard on yourself - dust off and start changing it!!
This can be done. In your situation I would save the receipts. Writing it down is not working. But I agree with pp. Use the envelope system because if you don't start with a number and a date(write down how much cash you are putting in the envelope and the date on the outside) you won't know where you are at, at any given time.
I also think you need to set a goal. ie: I will get this credit card down a to a certain level by this date. Make sure you know you can achieve it and do it. This will give you the confidence to set another goal after that.
So stop feeling guilty, put in the work and move on. This is doable but it does take effort. Make a game out of it and it will be a win win situation.
Good luck.
Richard Simmons used to say all the time "it takes a good 28 days to change a bad habit into a good one" Now of course, he was talking about food and a diet, but really it is true of everything. It takes 28 days to get used to getting up and making up your bed each morning before it becomes a habit.
I live with Quicken It does everything for me All I have to do is put in the amount of the receipts. We have this little basket on the desk. What ever is spent the receipt is
I do three very specific things.
1. I tell my money where to go. I set a budget and determine ahead of time how much will be spent on what. Everything from extra money towards debt to how much gets put aside for groceries that week. You can't over spend if the dollar amount is already been determined so include categories for buying needed clothing, getting hair cuts, purchasing little treats like a cup of coffee or a new paperback.
2. I Pay cash. I put my money for purchases into envelopes for the week. Everything from "blow" money (which I can spend on anything) to gas and groceries has it's own envelope. Thing is, once the money is gone it's gone. No borrowing from another category. If you are at the market and you go over what you have... then put the ice cream or flavored coffee creamer back. Get rid of the luxury items in your cart, buy some chicken instead of steak etc...
3.I do not go shopping as a form of entertainment. Get yourself a hobbie, join a book club, get involved in your community, volunteer at your local rescue mission.. anything that will get you out and doing, instead of bored and shopping.
If you do this I think you will find that you'll have better luck getting on track. Not to mention how empowering it feels to know where you money is going.
Get bossy! You tell your money what to do and where to go.
stacy
I understand not feeling able to keep up with good intentions after awhile....I've done that many times myself. Which is why a system that requires constant time and attention does not work for me. After awhile I sort of give up.
I have found something that works for me though. I use the crown mvelopes system. It is basically virtual envelopes instead of paper ones so I can still use my debit card. Not to mention, no need to worry about convincing dh about the need to go to cash. That would never go over with him!
Everytime we use our debit card (credit cards too because I have them linked to the program) the charge shows up in my ledger. I have to click on it and drag it into the envelope it belongs in. A charge from
I am so sorry that you are going through this, but know that you are not alone, nor are you a horrible person. I am new here and really can not offer any advice, as I am in your boat! I just wanted to
Is there a way to stop impulse spending
YES - Use cash.
I have paperclips of money in my wallet I take out at payday, every other Friday.