Invitation question....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Invitation question....
8
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 9:18am

Once you decline an invitation do you still have to give a gift?

My famliy (dh, kids and I) got invited to a baptism for a coworker of DH's. We are "friendly" with them but we aren't really friends. They have never been to our house or vice versa so I was pretty shocked when we got the invite in the first place. This is their second child and we have children the same age but have never had the kids together. Anyway, we have another commitment that day so I had DH decline.

He says we need to get them a gift. I am hesitating because I personally don't care. I don't see these people (DH does at work I suppose) and I am just wondering what to do. If I do get something it'd be a small small outfit or something for about $10.

What are your thoughts?




Edited 10/10/2009 11:11 am ET by beepsmomx2
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 11:17am

I would say no, it is not required. If he wants to give a gift....put him in charge. Why do we have to do everything??


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2009
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 11:24am
Family members, maybe. I would say no if they are just co-workers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 11:26am

LOL - you bring up a sore subject for me. Since being laid off (May) I feel like I do EVERYTHING around here. I clean, cook, shuffle kids where they need to go, buy gifts, organize cabinets....there is NO sharing of labor anymore. Course, I'm home and it does give me something to do (the days get long if I am sitting here not keeping busy) but my DH is coming up on a long vacation soon and I have told him I expect him to pitch in during that time.

Sorry - just felt a rant and you are right - if I want him to buy something I SHOULD let him do it.....problem with that is he will spend $25 and not shop frugally. I know I could probably find a decent gift for cheaper. Sigh....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 12:32pm

Yes buy them something for the baby. These people may not be your friends But the man or woman that works with your husband is his friend. And it could cause hard feeling at work between the two if you don't.


If you want to get something cheap Go to the Good will and get a nice clean basket. Then when you shop at the supermarket for food. Go down the baby section and pick up some powder and whips and such and put that in the basket and give it to them. You can use coupons to cut down on cost and it make a nice presentation without spending a lot of money. You are not going to get any kind of decent outfit today for a baby for 10.00. And if you are a good shopper you could get at least 5 or maybe 8 things for the same amount of money at the super market.


Of course I am Catholic and in the old days we used to give little statues and small crosses

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2009
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 2:11pm

Lila
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 2:10am

I'm going with no gifts for this situation.


It almost sounds like it was an "invite everyone you know" type of thing, since you never socialize with them outside of work.


edited:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 8:18am

Personally, I would still give a gift.

I think Mary Ann hit it on the head with something small and maybe related to the occasion. Hallmark stores have angel and baby ornaments for like $8. I was in Wal-Mart a couple years ago and found a really pretty gender-specific porcelain cross for $10.

You have to do what's right for your family. If the gift is too much of a squeeze simply purchase a card. I know a card will still mean a lot to some people.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 12:55pm
I wouldn't feel responsible for getting a gift if I couldn't attend the baptism. I'm going to use myself as an example. We're having a birthday party and I'm inviting about 30 people. If someone can't go, I'm not going to expect them to get a gift for my child. I would feel awkward accepting a gift from someone that #1 wasn't close to me and #2 couldn't even go to my event. So I would say you don't have to give a gift. If you would like to though, I would agree to get something 'hallmark' related. A cute little memento of the occasion that costs less than $10 dollars.