found out husband is hiding debt

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
found out husband is hiding debt
17
Tue, 10-13-2009 - 5:03pm
delete


Edited 10/21/2009 5:20 pm ET by blueparrotgirl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 10:54am

. I have forgiven him and we did have a long talk about communication and being able to ask for help. He feels terrible and ashamed, which I'm sure is normal.


I don't know that this is normal between a husband and wife - maybe a mother and child?




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 12:16pm
delete


Edited 10/21/2009 5:21 pm ET by blueparrotgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 12:19pm
delete


Edited 10/21/2009 5:21 pm ET by blueparrotgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 1:06pm

Well letting you down or whatever I think it is bad when a husband is afraid to face his wife or a wife is afraid to face her husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 1:14pm

delete




Edited 10/21/2009 5:22 pm ET by blueparrotgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 3:09pm

Regarding using a CC as opposed to savings, I think many here would be similar to your husband.


I have an emergency savings account, how I see that account is for an unexpected event - like a car repair, or hospital co-pay from an emergency.




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 3:48pm

Blue,

I think you did post this on the right board - a few on this board (including myself) have hidden debt from their spouses. You are a good person to help him deal with this and do it in such a mature manner. My husband didn't have the best reaction to my debt hiding and I couldn't blame him one bit. We did need to work on our communication and I think that was great for our relationship. Things are SO much better and different now. People make mistakes and I think you have realized that your DH made one. Life goes on.

I don't think that necessarily means that your relationship has problems or that you have some kind of parent/child exchange with your spouse.

I have gotten and taken criticism of people who tell me that because I hid debt my husband should leave me and never trust me. That is their opinion and I am glad my DH has more faith in me then a stranger who judges quickly. So be it.

Don't let someone elses two cents make you feel like you aren't a strong partner in your relationship.

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